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出场角色

  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Kenny McCormick
  • Butters Stotch
  • Elderly Woman
  • Hippies
  • Randy Marsh
  • Sharon Marsh
  • Gerald Broflovski
  • Sheila Broflovski
  • Steven Stotch
  • Linda Stotch
  • Mayor McDaniels
  • Principal Victoria
  • Mrs. Garrison
  • Mr. Mackey
  • Officer Barbrady
  • Chef
  • Jimbo Kern
  • Singers
  • Announcers
  • Reporters
  • Anchorman
  • MC
  • Guards at City Hall and the Jam Band Festival

剧本

嬉皮去死
An elderly woman's home. Cartman rings her doorbell, and she answers it. Cartman is dressed in an orange hazmat suit and is carrying a tank of something on his back
Cartman
Hello, ma'am. I'm working to clean up the neighborhood from parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your house? I'm afraid you may have hippies.
Elderly Woman
Hippies?
Cartman
[walks in and begins to rap the walls with his fist] Yeah, they've been poppin' up all over the neighborhood lately. Ms. Nelson next door had seven hippies in her basement; they usually live in colonies. [raps on the wall and the pitch changes] Hm, I don't like the sound of that. Could I take a look in your attic?
The attic. He opens the door and looks in. He gets out a flashlight, turns it on, and looks around again. He stops after a few seconds.
Cartman
Oh yeah, boy. Take a look at this, ma'am. [she climbs up until her eyes are level with his] See that? Hippies. [five hippies are sitting in a clearing in the attic, smoking and laughing.]
Elderly Woman
Oh my.
Cartman
These are what we call the uh giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippie, usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there's probably a whole lot more you're not seein'. Uh, whe-where's the backyard.
The backyard. The elderly lady opens the door and Cartman walks out onto the back porch
Cartman
Yep, that's what I thought. See that? You've got a drum circle in your backyard. [eight hippies are seen seated around a small campfire drumming away. Logs are scattered around them]
Elderly Woman
Oh, well they showed up a few days ago, but I didn't think they were hurting anything.
Cartman
Yeah. You know, I had a guy in Jackson County. He had a little drum circle in his backyard. It turned into a drum circle four miles in diameter. You get a few hippies playing drums and next thing you know, you got yourself a colony.
Elderly Woman
Oh dear.
back inside the house
Elderly Woman
Oh, well, so, so what do I do?
Cartman
[goes back to rapping the walls, then stops] Well, your attic could be so we can fumigate with polymarethane. The drum circle we're gonna have to gas. [raps again. The wall begins to crack and he steps aside. A hippie breaks through and falls to the floor. Cartman says under his breath] God dammit! [pulls out a fire extinguisher from his backpack]
Hippie 1
[dazed and confused, coughing] Whoa, how did I get here? Man, I'm so high.
Cartman
God damn hippie! [opens fire. Foam spews out from the extinguisher]
Hippie 1
Whoa, dude!
Cartman
Get out of here!
Hippie 1
Not cool! [stands up and looks at Cartman] What's up?! [runs off]
Cartman
Ma'am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your drum-circle hippies RIGHT NOW, or soon they're gonna attract something much worse!
Elderly Woman
Ooooo...what's that?
Cartman
The college know-it-all hippies.
The neighborhood, day. A red car pulls up to the curb. On the back window is a decal which says "University of Colorado at Boulder" Three men and three women step out of the car
Driver
[wearing green jacket] Wow, my friend Brittany was right. This is a really laid-back place.
Woman 1
[wearing tan jacket] Yeah, this will be a great place to spend spring break. [Stan, Kyle, and Kenny approach them]
Kyle
Hey, let's ask them. [the boys are wearing shoulder totes with magazines peeking out from them.]
Stan
All right. [the two parties meet] 'Scuse me. [holds out a clipboard] Hello, we are selling magazine subscriptions for our community youth program. Would you like to help young people like us by purchasing a subscription of your choice?
Driver
Oh wow, you guys shouldn't be doing that. Don't you know what you're doing to the world?
Kyle
Wha- whataya mean?
Man 1
[wearing a guitar over his back] You're playing into the corporate game! See, the corporations are trying to turn you into little Eichmann's so that they can make money. [the other man is busily eating chips]
Stan
Who are the corporations?
Woman 2
[a blonde with a psychedelic fish on her shirt] The corporations run the entire world. And now they fooled you into working for them.
Stan
Are you serious? We never heard that.
Driver
We just spent our first semester at college. Our professors opened our eyes. The government is using its corporate ties to make you sell magazines so they can get rich.
Kyle
Ugh! Those dirty liars!
Kenny
(Sonofabitch!) [throws down his shoulder tote]
Man 2
[has finished his chips] This is a really nice town you have here. That's why the corporations are trying to use you to take it down.
Stan
Well... Well what do we do?
Driver
Just hang with us for a bit. We'll fill you in on everything you haven't been told. [Man 2 resumes eating chips]
Cartman's basement. He's gathered a bunch of hippies in there and one of them pounds the door to get out
Hippie 2
[wearing a headband] It is time to let us out! I'm sending your names! Open this door right now!
Cartman
[opens the door real quick and tosses another hippie down the stairs] All right, in you go.
Hippie 2
What are you doing, man?!
Hippie 3
[wearing a V-neck sweater] Let us out! [the throng advances up the stairs]
Cartman
Get back. Get back or you're all gonna get maced! [the throng backs down]
Hippie 2
What's up, man?! You can't keep us down here like this!
Hippie 4
[with straight long hair] What's wrong with you?!
Cartman
What's wrong is that there's more of you showing up every day and I need to find out why!
Hippie 5
[wearing a thin headband] What makes you think you could tell us where to live?!
Hippie 6
This is a free country, man!
Cartman
Brah, I'm not gonna argue with you, all right? Just go with it.
Hippie 3
Just go with it? We've been down here for days!
Cartman
And you're gonna be here a little longer, brah, all right? Here, here's some joints [tosses a bunch of joints down to the hippies], and a guitar! [tosses that down as well and shuts the door. He then locks it and sets a large beam across the door, then walks away. The hippies are left there, coughing. One of them takes the guitar and sings]
Singer
What's goin' on in this world o'mine?There's a whole lot of killin' in this world o'mine. Somebody's gotta help this world o'mine...
Stan's house, at about the same time. He's sitting at the edge of the porch playing a guitar quietly. On his cap he wears a peace sign
Stan
Sign, sign everywhere. SignDone something to my mind.
Sharon
[peeks out through the sliding doors] Stan, sweetie, we're gonna go to the mall. Do you wanna come?
Stan
Mom, the mall is a way for the corporate fat cats to imprison you into a life of servitude. I've got some stuff you should read.
Sharon
Okay, sweetie.
City Hall, City Council meeting. Mayor McDaniels is seated at the head of a boardroom table, with leading citizens of the town sitting on either side.
Mayor McDaniels
All right, people, we can move onto issue number 14B.
Chef
[Secretary of Public Safety] Mayor, we have got to do somethin' about all these potholes on our roads!
Linda Stotch
[City Clerk and Treasurer] We don't have it in the budget to fix them right now.
Gerald
[City Attorney] We'll wish we spent the money when we have a lawsuit on our hands.
Chef
We- [a struggle is heard in the hall and the council members turn to see what it is. The door opens and Cartman rushes in, roughed up]
Guard
You can't go in there!
Cartman
Please, I have to talk to you all right now!
Mayor McDaniels
Kid, we're have a city council meeting.
Cartman
Mayor, something very big is happening, and if you all don't give me a moment of your time, there may be no more South Park to council over!
Randy
[Secretary of Parks and Public Grounds] What are you talking about?
Cartman
I'm talking about the end of all life as we know it. [some surprise is seen among the council members] For the past several days I've been... noticing a steep rise in the number of hippies coming to town. [puts a laptop on the table and turns it on] At first I thought maybe it was just a coincidence. [pulls a projector towards the laptop] Then I saw this... [connects the projector to the laptop, and the projector turns on. Everyone then looks at the screen. Cartman goes to it and points a few things out] Three new drum circles have sprouted up here, here, and here. They're all growing in diameter, at a rate of two hippies per hour. What this means... is that the hippies are conglomerating. They're thriving, if you will. I think that they're setting up for a... hippie music festival.
Linda
A what?
Cartman
It's, it's simple science. Look: When hippies start to nest in a new area, it draws other hippies in. With the right weather conditions and topography, it can lead to a music festival. One that lasts for days, even weeks. Reggae on the River, Woodstock, Burning Man, they will all pale in comparison to what we're looking at now. In my professional opinion... I think we're looking at a full-blown hippie jam festival the size of which we've never seen. [the adults don't get it, Cartman sighs heavily]
Mayor McDaniels
Kid, what the hell are you talking about?
Cartman
I know hippies. I've hated them all my life. I've kept this town free of hippies on my own since I was five and a half. But I can't contain them on my own anymore. We have to do something, fast!
Mr. Mackey
Uh, Eric, we're, we're talkin' about potholes right now, m'kay.
Cartman
It's not potholes you need to worry about. It's potheads. I know what these people are capable of. '
Mayor McDaniels
Johnson, get him out of here. [Johnson rises and goes for Cartman]
Cartman
What are you doing?! [Johnson hauls him away] You have to listen to me! You can't sweep this problem under the rug! [he disappears from view, but peeks in one last time] The town is in serious danger! [Johnson returns to close the door]
A park in town. The college hippies sit at a table... and on it
Driver
You see, the corporations take their profits and invest it in the war machine while keeping everyone blind.
Stan
Right, so how do we get back at them?
Kyle
Yeah, we're pissed off.
Driver
Well, so my idea was this: Let's have, like, a week long music festival, draw everyone here, and then together, we can tear it all down. [foam appears out of nowhere and covers the hippie driver] Whoa, what the hell?! [Cartman appears]
Cartman
I knew you were trying to have a hippie jam festival! All right, everyone pack up your crap, we're going to my basement!
Kyle
Cartman, what the hell are you doing?!
Cartman
[stops and thinks through what he just heard, then turns around] Oh Jesus, not you guys? [approaches Stan and checks him out] What happened? Were you bit? Did you eat their brownies? DID YOU EAT THEIR BROWNIES?!
Stan
[alarmed] NO!
Cartman
Listen, you're my friends, but if you've been compromised, I'll have no problem taking you out! I'd expect the same from you. [the hippie that wore the guitar over his shoulder approaches the boys]
Man 1
What is your problem? Get lost, little Eichmann. [Cartman sprays mace on him and he cries out in pain]
Woman 2
Oh my God!
Man 2
What the hell are you doing?! [a police car pulls up in the background and Officer Barbrady steps out of the car. He comes for Eric]
Cartman
Everybody get in a single-file line!
Officer Barbrady
There you are!
Cartman
Ah, Officer Barbrady, you're just in time. These college know-it-all hippies were setting up for a music festival, just as I predicted.
Officer Barbrady
Eric Cartman, you are under arrest.
Cartman
What?
Officer Barbrady
I was just over at your house and freed sixty-three people you had locked in your basement.
Cartman
You let them out?! Jesus, we have to find them!
Officer Barbrady
Oh no, you're coming downtown! [hauls Cartman away to the police cruiser]
Cartman
No! No, we have to stop them! You know how we-?! We gotta stop them! Hebbiaaay! [Barbrady puts him in the passenger seat, then gets into the driver's seat and peels away]
Driver
Who was that?
South Park Police Dept. Cartman is in jail, confused
Cartman
What did I do?!
Officer Barbrady
You can't kidnap people and lock them in your basement.
Cartman
They're not people, they're HIPPIES!
Mayor McDaniels.
Is this problem under control?
Officer Barbrady
I handled it, Mayor. Gee whiz.
Cartman
[walks to his cell door] Mayor! Mayor, I confirmed the data! The hippies are going to have a massive jam band concert!
Mayor McDaniels
I know. I signed the permit.
Cartman
[steps back, stunned] You... You what?
Mayor McDaniels
I signed a permit allowing them to have their concert here. Their little "festival" should pump some money into our economy.
Cartman
They're hippies! They don't HAVE any money! Does the city council know about this?!
Mayor McDaniels
They don't have to know. I can sign whatever permit I want!
Cartman
You just SOLD OUT OUR TOWN! [Cartman snaps]
Mayor McDaniels
That kid really needs some psychiatric help.
Officer Barbrady
Yeah.
Mayor McDaniels
All right, let's go.
Cartman
[quickly composes himself] How much money is enough, Mayor?! How many people's lives it is all worth?! God damned hippies!
Breaking News
Announcer
This is a South Park News special report! [a crowd scene is shown beside the anchorman]
Anchorman
Thousands of people have descended on South Park for a hippie music jam festival. The event is said to be the largest such gathering in the history of man. [the crowd scene fills the screen and the MC comes up to the main mic. The stage is set up solidly, with speakers ]
MC
All right, welcome to Hippie Jam Fest 2005! [the crowd raises a cheer] Sooo great to see sooo many people turn out to make an impact on on the world! [more cheering follows]
Stan
Yeah!
Kyle
You said it!
MC
For too long, the corporations have bled the world of its love and resources! It is time for us to get to work and make the world a better place! And we're gonna start right now. [launches into a jam with his band. The crowd cheers; the college hippies are seen in the audience]
Man 1
[coughs] Oh man, I can't wait to see the look on those little Eichmann's faces when they hear this crunchy groove. [goes back to smoking pot]
The Marsh house. Sharon and Randy run into each other in the kitchen
Randy
Sharon, have, have you seen Stan?
Sharon
He went with his friends to that music festival.
Randy
Oh, Jesus, what has gotten into that kid?!
Sharon
Now, Randy, we were the same way once, too. Don't forget that we were both considered hippies back in the '60s.
Randy
Yeah, but when we did it we actually stood for something. I mean, remember Woodstock, Sharon? We actually did something there.
Flash back to Woodstock, 1969, a crowd scene quite similar to the current one. Randy jumps into view and yells like a barbarian. Sharon jumps into view and they both dance around. Sharon turns and bares her tits and Randy dances so hard he gets dizzy and throws up.
Sharon
You ate too much acid, man! [she resumes dancing and slips onto the vomit, face up. Randy pounces on her and starts banging her, sort of. They still have their clothes on.]
Flash forward to the present. They consider how such activity would be seen these days...
Sharon
...Oh my God. Our son is with those people.
Randy
[panics] S-stan. STAAAN!
Breaking News
Announcer
This is South Park News!
Anchorman
Fear and horror in South Park today as the music festival continues to grow. [live footage is shown] They're arriving in droves and apparently no end is in sight.
Reporter
Tom, the crowd just keeps getting bigger and the town is literally bursting at the seams. We don't know where this music festival came from, but, it's very close to consuming us all.
Butters' house. Linda and Steven hug each other before the TV as they watch the news brief.
Linda
Steven, what do we do?
Kyle's house. Music is heard outside. Gerald opens the door and looks out to see hippies milling on his front lawn, and screams. A view from a long distance shows just how big the crowd has gotten, then another shot shows the heart of the festival. Randy is seen looking for his son
Randy
[frantic] Stan?! Stan?! I need to get through, please! [Jimbo approaches him]
Jimbo
[restrains Randy] Randy! Randy, you've got to get out of here! If they just trample this park, we'll be trapped! It's too dangerous!
Randy
My son is in there! Duh-uh! [breaks away from Jimbo and disappears among the hippies. He reaches a clearing] Stan?! [the marijuana smoke is too much for him. He coughs harshly] Stan! Stan!
Male hippie
Hey, chill man. It's all good.
Female hippie
Have some water laced with acid.
Randy
Sta-ogh. Ugh! [he falls to the ground gagging, then gets into a fetal position and passes out]
City Hall. The Mayor looks at the festival from her office window.
Mayor McDaniels
What have I done?
MC
Yeah, South Park is now hippie capital of the world! [a loud cheer rises from the crowd. The Mayor raises her right arm. In her hand is gun. She points it at her temple. the camera moves to the right, the gun goes off, and bits of brain, skull, and blood hit the wall to the right. Her body is heard dropping to the floor]
South Park Police Department. Cartman relaxes in his cell, having nothing to do. He senses he's not alone and looks towards the cell door. The town's adults are on the other side.
Mr. Mackey
Uh huh hi Eric, uh, how's it goin'?
Cartman
[gets off his bed] Great, I love crapping in a toilet with no rim on it.
Randy
Eric, you were right. About the hippies. Could you... get rid of them for us now?
Cartman
[angered] Let me guess: they've started a hippie jam band music festival.
Sheila
We we need you to take care of them, Eric! They're out of control!
Cartman
[a bit resentful] Forget it. [turns his back on them and walks back to his bed]
Randy
Please. Some of our kids are in there. We should have listened to you earlier.
Chef
Yeah. We apologize.
Jimbo
Please. Don't let them ruin our town.
Cartman
It's too late! Even if I did agree to help, there's too many of them now!
Mr. Mackey
We know you can do it, Eric. You're smart. Wha- why you're the smartest kid in school, m'kay?
Randy
We're just asking you to try. The whole town even got together and, and baked you a cake. [Sheila presents a cake, and Randy helps out. The cake says Eric on it]
Cartman
[turns away again] Don't think that you can buy me with presents! ...Unless of course it's the new Tonka radio-controlled play bulldozer.
Randy
[thinks a moment] It's yours.
Cartman
I want the batteries for it too. And I get to drive it around in the school parking lot.
Principal Victoria
Fine.
Jimbo
Anything else?
Cartman
Yes. [turns around] Kyle doesn't get to have one! Ever! And he has to watch me drive mine around the school parking lot and get super-jealous!
Sheila
Well, we can promise not to buy one for Kyle, but we-we can't make him watch you play th- [Randy nudges her hard] Oh yes! Fine! We'll force Kyle to watch you.
Cartman
All right, fine. But now listen up and listen good! I've never tried to get rid of this many hippies before, so I'm gonna need every resource this town has! And even if I don't succeed, and it's a million-to-one shot that I will, I still get the Tonka radio-controlled bulldozer and get to play with it in the school parking lot where Kyle has to watch me and be super-jealous because he doesn't have one! Are we clear?! [The adults just look back at him]
The music festival, day 6. The crowd has grown so big the camera has to pull back a long way to get it all into view. The boys are again present with the college hippies. The band is playing reggae music.
Driver
Wow, this band is so crunchy. Dude, I need more weed.
Stan
So it seems like we have enough people now. When do we start taking down the corporations?
Man 1
[take a deep drag from his joint] Yeah man, the corporations. Right now they're raping the world for money!
Kyle
Yeah, so, where are they. Let's go get 'em.
Man 2
Right now we're proving we don't need corporations. We don't need money. This can become a commune where everyone just helps each other.
Man 1
Yeah, we'll have one guy who like, who like, makes bread. A-and one guy who like, l-looks out for other people's safety.
Stan
You mean like a baker and a cop?
Man 2
No no, can't you imagine a place where people live together and like, provide services for each other in exchange for their services?
Kyle
Yeah, it's called a town.
Driver
You kids just haven't been to college yet. But just you wait, this thing is about to get HUGE.
Park County Community Center, night. Cartman and the adults are meeting there. Cartman stands next to an easel with various pictures on a tabloid-size book
Cartman
All right, everyone listen up! The hippie jam band festival is now fourteen miles in diameter and five hundred thousand hippies thick.
Randy
[closes his eyes] My God...
Cartman
In less than three days, all of South Park will be completely consumed. Our only hope is to fight our way to the center of the crowd, and reach the heart, here. [points to the stage] If we can reach the stage, we can upload this Slayer CD into their music system. [shows off a CD-R of Slayer music] Hippies can't stand death metal. If everything works, they should disperse just before they consume us all.
Jimbo
Nice plan, kid, except there's one giant flaw. That hippie crowd is massive! How the hell are we supposed to get through it and reach the stage?
Cartman
We drill. [flips the page and a blueprint appears.] I've designed a vehicle that can bore its way through even the densest hippie crowd. They pilots inside will be safe from the pot smoke and the crappy music outside.
Steven
You're... actually suggesting that somebody drives right into the heart of that mob? It's a suicide mission!
Cartman
Not just somebody. I need a complete team to operate this vehicle. Along with me I'm gonna need a scientist, an engineer, and of course, a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.
Randy
I'm the... only scientist in town.
Linda
I'm your engineer.
Steven
Honey, no!
Linda
I have to do it, Steven.
Cartman
All right, then we just need a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong. [he looks around, panning by Chef once] Lessee, anyone would do, anyone who meets the qualifications, let's see... [his gaze passes Chef again] Oh, I know. How about- [his gaze falls upon Chef and stays there]
Chef
Yeah, yeah! I get it! Fine!
Steven
I I can't believe we're actually listening to this. This is a crazy plan!
Randy
You got a better idea, Steven?! Dammit, my son is in there!
Cartman
There's no more time for ideas! We have to have this vehicle up and operational in less than three days! Look, it's a long shot! But it's also the only shot we- [his face is distorted. Moments later he sneezes and his face is normal again.] got.
The music festival, day 6. The camera pans across the site and stops where the townsfolk stand around the vehicle
New report
Reporter
Tom, I'm standing in South Park, Colorado, where a desperate attempt to save the town is underway. Some call it a suicide mission, but the heroic men and women of the hippie digger may be our only hope of survival. [Cartman's team enters through the doors of Bay 2]
Randy
Well I... guess this is it, Sharon.
Sharon
Please, save our boy, Randy.
Linda
Butters, if anything happens to Mommy, I, I want you to be a good boy.
Butters
Ah I will, Mom.
Chef
[with two ladies crying on his shoulders] Now, now, don't cry, ladies. Everything's gonna be fine.
Cartman
I... don't want you to worry about me, Clyde Frog. [his plush toy sits on a chair] Hey! You're the best stuffed animal I've ever had. [smiles, wipes a tear from his eye, and joins the rest of the crew into the hippie digger. They turn to wave at the townsfolk, who cheer and wave back. Some people take pictures]
Sheila
Look out for yourselves!
Mrs. Garrison
Godspeed! [the crew finally enters the digger and closes the door]
Inside the digger
Cartman
Primary engine running?
Randy
Check.
Cartman
Navigation systems?
Linda
Online
Cartman
Let's punch this baby. [the digger rolls off its platform] We're coming up on the outer perimeter of the hippies. Hang on. [the digger lunges into the crowd, tossing hippies left and right, maybe killing a few in the process. Inside, the crew is jostled about] Reaching hippie crowd. Hull status?
Randy
Vehicle shell holding! [the digger continues clearing a path towards the stage]
A command center nearby. Townsfolk mill around inside
Jimbo
They're in!
Townsfolk
All right! All right, yeah! We did it!
Mayor McDaniels
[appears with a bandage around her head] All right, people, let's save it! [blood stains are seen on the bandage over both temples. The suicide attempt failed] They still have a long way to go!
The music festival. The boys are in front of the stage sitting on throw rugs. They're bored.
Stan
Alright, I can't take it anymore! I'm getting on that stage!
Kyle
You're doing what?
Guard
[an old hippie] Hey, you can't go up there. Hoohoo, woo! [smokes his joint. The digger lurches on. A long shot shows the path the digger is taking]
Inside the digger
Cartman
Switching to secondary fuel line. [warning lights begin to flash and warning sounds are heard] What's that?
Randy
The drill is getting too hot from all the hippies. [the digger stalls and dies]
The command center nearby. Townsfolk mill around inside
Mayor McDaniels
What's happened?
Mr. Mackey
They, they s- they stopped. Something's wrong.
Steven
Jesus... they're dead in the water. [no motion from the digger.]
The music festival. The digger is dead. As the crowd cheers, Stan approaches the mic
Stan
Uh, excuse me. Excuse me, can I have your attention please? What are we doing? [the crowd quiets down] It's been nine days! Doesn't it seem like we should accomplish something?
A hippie
We're using the power of rock and roll to change the world! Woo! [the crowd cheers]
Stan
Maybe instead of complaining about corporations being selfish, we should look at ourselves. I mean, is there anything more selfish than doing nothing but getting high and listening to music all day long?
Singer
He's right. It's time for all of us to focus our energy and get this hippie jam into full swing. [the band starts up again. They missed his point entirely. Stan just turns right and walks away]
Inside the digger, the crew tries to start it up again.
Cartman
Come on, come on!
Linda
It's useless. The main power line has been shut down.
Randy
Somebody's gonna have to go outside and activate the backup boosters.
Cartman
No, Chef, I'm not gonna let you go out there!
Chef
...I didn't volunteer!
Cartman
...All right, fine Chef, go!
Chef
...Aw dammit! [rises from his seat and opens the digger door, facing an atmosphere think with marijuana smoke. He climbs down, coughing pretty hard]
The command center nearby. The Mayor takes command
Mayor McDaniels
That's it. We're going to Plan B. Nuke the crowd!
Steven
God dammit, no! Y-you have to give them more time!
The music festival. Chef makes his way through the crowd to the booster switch and turns it on. The digger revs up and zooms towards the stage. Kyle seems to be saying something about how he got a stain on his clothes.
Stan
Dude, these people have no idea what's going on. Let's get out of here.
Kyle
We can't. Kenny just checked. There's a wall of people like seven miles thick behind us.
Stan
What? You mean, we're stuck here listening to this crap? [the stage is shown. All of a sudden the digger smashes into it, stopping the festival in its tracks. The crowd looks towards the stage]
Man 2
Hey, what happened to the tunes, man?
Man 1
More tunes. More tunes! [the digger's door opens and the crew steps out]
Linda
We made it!
Cartman
Hit the PA system NOW! [the crew goes over to it] Put me in the main line! [Randy turns and shoves an unconscious man at the controls off and gathers some cords]
Randy
Which cord is it?
Cartman
You're the scientist, jackass!
Randy
I'm a geologist!
Linda
We don't have time to argue! They're gonna nuke us!
Randy
Nyugh!
Cartman
Put them in my laptop! [Randy connects one of the cords to the laptop. Cartman selects a song from the Slayer CD he put in the CD-ROM drive: "Raining Blood" He clicks "Play" and the song blasts forth from the stage speakers. The crowd listens for a while, then begins to disperse.]
A hippie
Oh man, not cool.
Hippie 3
[covers his hears and walks off] This music is so angry.
Man 2
This is killing my buzz.
Man 1
Let's bail on this whole angry scene. [the college hippies move off]
Randy
It's working!
Linda
What?
Randy
It's, it's working!
The command center.
Mrs. Garrison
We did it! We did it! [the townsfolk cheer and hug each other]
The music festival. Stan sees his father
Stan
Dad!
Randy
Stan! [they run up to each other and hug. Nearby, Chef comes to and sits up]
Chef
I'm alive! [Kyle walks around aimlessly, but Cartman spots him]
Cartman
Hold it right there, Kyle! [Cartman has a small dagger in its sheath. He pulls it out]
Kyle
Whoa, Cartman. We aren't gonna be hippies anymore. Y-you don't have to kill us.
Cartman
Kill you? Oh no. I have much bigger plans for you, Kyle.
South Park Elementary's parking lot. Kyle sits on the curb watching Cartman play with his Tonka radio-controlled play bulldozer. Cartman has the scoop haul some rocks from one pile to another
Cartman
Hoho! Aw man, this is awesome! Weeeee! [offers the remote control] Oh here, Kyle, you wanna play with it a little while. [Kyle rises and takes a few steps, but Cartman withdraws the offer] Oh, sorry! You don't get to! Hehe. Oh, check it out! Cooool!
嬉皮去死 结束
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