杰弗逊父子/剧本

梗概

冷知识

图册

剧本

在线观看

超赞哦机器人

杰弗逊父子/剧本

未来居民

出场角色

• Stan Marsh
• Kyle Broflovski
• Eric Cartman
• Kenny McCormick
• Red
• Craig Tucker
• Randy Marsh
• Sharon Marsh
• Gerald Broflovski
• Sheila Broflovski
• Stephen Stotch
• Linda Stotch
• Harrison Yates
• Maggie Yates
• Detective Harrison Yates
• Detective Murphy
• Johnson
• Frakes
• Various Additional Children
• Sgt. Snetzl
• Michael Jackson
• Blanket Jackson

剧本

杰弗逊父子
	The neighborhood. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny ride down the street on their big wheels.
Stan	[stops and looks at a house] Hey, check it out, dude. Somebody bought the Donovan's old house. [the other boys stop and look.]
Kyle	Yeah, I think they already moved in. I saw moving vans in their driveway two days ago.
Cartman	I hope they're not Austrians. That's the last thing this town needs. [a door is heard opening]
Kyle	[points] Hey Look!
	A young kid wearing an ornate face mask is seen peeking out the front door.
Blanket	Hello!
	The boys get off their bikes and approach the kid.
Kyle	Hey. Do you live here?
Blanket	Yeah, I just moved here with my dad. Are you gonna be my new friends?
Cartman	No.
Blanket	I really like your town. My dad wanted to move somewhere to get away from it all. He said he wanted peace and quiet, and to live with a bunch of hicks who don't know anything.
	Stan and Kyle look at each other a bit puzzled.
Stan	What's that you're wearing?
Blanket	It's my mask. My daddy says it's best for me to hide my face. My name's Blanket.
Cartman	Your name is Blanket... Right. Well Blanket, I'm Howdy Doody, and these are my friends, Timsy, Winky, and Nod. Unfortunately, we have to be off to the Land of Booger Trees, so we'll be leaving now.
	The boys turn back to get back on to their bikes.
Blanket	Wait! Don't you guys wanna come inside and play?
Cartman	Huh? Look dude, we're in the fourth grade, okay? You know what that means? It means we don't hang out with a little kid. Come on guys, let's get back to our Big Wheels. [they turn away.]
Blanket	We have arcade games inside.
	Kyle and Cartman whip around. Moments later, the boys are in the house.'
	The Jeffersons' house inside.
Blanket	Dad?
Stan	Whoa. Dude, no way!
Cartman	Oh my God, this is awesome! [runs up to a claw machine]
Stan	Dude, are these all your toys?
Blanket	No, this is all my dad's stuff. He loves toys and video games.
Kyle	Dude, he just be loaded! What does he do?
Blanket	He's retired now.
Cartman	[guiding the machine's arm to grab a plush toy] Oh my God, dude! Your dad must be the coolest guy in the world!
Blanket	Come on, my dad's probably out in the backyard. [guides the other three boys out]
	The backyard. The sliding door opens up to a small park, a Neverland, with a giraffe, small Ferris wheel, small carousel, and other things. The boys step through the doorway.
Cartman	Oh, kick ass! Dude, why isn't my house like this?!
Blanket	Dad? You out here?
Michael	Here I am, Blanket!
	Blanket's dad, a spitting image of Michael Jackson, rides into view on a small train and waves. Every few seconds his moustache falls off and he has to put it back in place. He hops off the train and dances around
Michael	Heeee!
	He twirls, does a pelvic thrust while daintily touching his crotch.
Michael	Jeh chabee durtah!
	He pulls up his pant legs a bit, kicks his right leg up, then whips his right arm out to full length. His moustache falls off and he resets it, then runs up to Blanket and picks him up
Michael	Blanket! Oh my beautiful blanket!
Kyle	[softly] What's wrong with his face?
Stan	[softly] Be cool, dude. I, I think maybe he's a burn victim or something.
Blanket	Guys, this is my dad. Michael Ja-
Michael	Jefferson! Michael ...Jefferson, yeh. Hey, you wanna play with me?
	He runs into the yard.
Michael	Come on, let's climb the tree! [turns to a tree and scales it] Come on, climb the tree, climb the tree!
	Michael motions for the boys to join him. They oblige and join him up there.
Michael	Have you been up my... Wishing Tree? Tuh! It's where I come to think and dream. And now I'd like to show you my... Wishing Tree. Jam on! Where we can laugh and giggle and scream. Hee hee! Imagination is the key.
Kyle	Mr. Jefferson, your son can't get up.
Michael	Won't you imagine along with me?
Kyle	Mr. Jefferson?
	On the ground, Blanket can't even reach the bottom rung of the ladder.
Michael	We can be spacemen, or pirates on the sea Chuckajamonah! Yes we can do everything, and I mean, everything! Chuckajamonah! Up in my Wishing Tree! Hee hee! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
	Stark's Pond, day. A group of kids skate around lazily on its frozen surface. Stan and friends race over a rise towards the lake.
Stan	Hey, you guys! You guys! [the kids gather around] You gotta come with us over to the Jeffersons!
Red	The Jeffersons?
Cartman	[breathless] They're a new family that just moved to South Park! We met this kid named Blanket and he has the coolest dad in the world! [his chest heaves noticeably]
Kyle	Mr. Jefferson said we can invite all the kids in town to go play over at their house.
Cartman	They have like, video games and rides and a cotton-candy machine, oh, and, and in their back yard, guess what they have in their back yard?! Guess. A train.
Craig	[in a monotone voice] No way.
Cartman	Yeah way, Craig! And if you don't believe in Mr. Jefferson, then you can just not come!
Craig	[not wanting to be left out] I believe in Mr. Jefferson!
	The Jefferson house, arcade room. As the kids enjoy the toys and games found there, Jefferson swings above them on a spacious swing with Bebe on his lap.
Michael	Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, look at us on the swing! We're swinging!
Blanket	Who wants the first cotton candy?
	The kids around him begin to clamor for it.
Kids	Memememememememememe
	Blanket hands the first cotton-candy to Kyle.
Michael	Mememe! I'm first! I'm first!
	Blanket steps away a bit astonished, but soon all the kids have cotton candy.
Michael	Oooo, let's go ride the choo-choo train!
Cartman	Choo-choo train! Yay!
	The kids begin to move towards the back yard. Blanket is left on the floor trying to stand and catch up to them.
	The Jefferson back yard. The kids follow Jefferson to the train.
Michael	Let's ride the train! The train!
	The kids climb on and the train begins to roll.
Michael	Would you like to ride the train with me, and start a magical journey?
Cartman	Yes I would, Mr. Jefferson. You're so awesome, Mr. Jefferson.
Michael	Cartman, you have a beautiful voice.
Cartman	Thank you Mr. Jefferson. So do you.
Michael	Let's ride and ride on the train together
Cartman	...Train together
Michael	On a journey through both of our minds.
Cartman	I've got time. Do youuu??
	Back near the sliding door, Stan, Kyle and Kenny look on. Blanket stands next to them and Kyle notices Blanket's left leg.
Kyle	Dude, what happened to your knee?
Blanket	[his skinned knee is shown] I fell down.
Kyle	[calls out] Mr. Jefferson!
Michael	[back on the train] Choo-choo train, it's all fun and games.
Cartman	Choo-choo train.
Kyle	Mr- ! Goddammit. Here, come on. We need to clean that up. [takes Blanket inside]
	The bathroom. Kyle sits Blanket on the toilet and dresses the wound.
Kyle	Alright, this is gonna sting for a second.
	Kyle dabs some alcohol onto a towel and presses the towel onto Blanket's knee, wiping off some dirt, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
Blanket	Ow!
Kyle	I know, I know. Be cool.
Blanket	Thank you. That already feels better.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
Kyle	So, dude, do you have any brothers or sisters?
Blanket	I have a half-brother and a half-sister. But they live with their mom now.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
Kyle	And where is your mom?
Blanket	I don't have a mom.
Kyle	You must have a mom.
	Kyle wipes Blanket's knee some more, then dabs some more alcohol onto the towel.
Kyle	You mean she doesn't live here, or she's dead, or what?
Blanket	No. I was made in a laboratory.
Kyle	What?
Blanket	My daddy wanted to have a baby, so he put me in a test tube. Then, they put me in a woman's tummy, and, when I was born, Daddy took me home.
Kyle	So you never met your mom?
Blanket	No... But I used to have a lot of bodyguards and nannies, if that counts.
Kyle	Yeah. Yeah, that counts.
	The neighborhood, some time later. The boys are walking home. Kyle seems concerned.
Cartman	Oh man, that was great! You guys know what Mr. Jefferson said? He said I'm his best friend, and I can go over to his house whenever I want! I'm supposed to go right back over there after dinner tonight!
Kyle	You guys, I feel kinda bad for that kid.
Cartman	You feel bad for him?! He has everything a kid could want!
Kyle	Mr. Jefferson just seems like he wants to be a kid, not have one.
Cartman	Oh, you know what?! This makes perfect sense! A guy moves into South Park with a FERRIS wheel in his back yard, and KYLE has to see a problem with it! [faces Kyle down] Mr. Jefferson is the best thing that's happened to this town in a long time, and if you miss this up, so help me god, I will rip your balls off with my bare hands! With my bare hands, Goddamn you! [turns and walks away angrily]
	Stan's house, afternoon. Stan enters the kitchen through the back door. Randy is at the breakfast nook reading a paper, Sharon puts a coffee pot onto the counter.
Randy	Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon.
Stan	I was over at the new neighbors, the Jeffersons.
Sharon	Oh, are they nice people?
Stan	Yeah. It's just a dad and his son.
Sharon	Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches over for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.
	Stan's house, evening. The Marshes and their guests are seated at table for dinner. On the left are seated Sheila, Stephen, and Linda. On the right are seated Gerald, Mr. Jefferson, Sharon, and Randy is at the head of the table.
Gerald	So, Mr. Jefferson, did I hear you say you moved here from Kentucky?
Michael	Kentucky, yeah.
Randy	I heard people saying you all were from Illinois.
Michael	No, the- they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
Stephen	What kind of work do you do, Mr. Jefferson?
Michael	Oh I'm retired now, but, I was in... pharmaceuticals
Sheila	Well our boys have really taken a liking to you. You seem to really have a way with them.
Michael	I just id- identify so much with children. Their innocence, their beauty. I think that God is in the face of every child.
Randy	....Yeeeah.
Sharon	...They are fun. [glances back, away from the table] Boys, you okay out there?
	The living room. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket are seated on the sofa, eating.
Stan	Fine, Mom.
Blanket	Wow, these are great. What are they called again?
Kyle	They're TV dinners. Don't you wanna take that veil off so you can eat?
Blanket	Nah, I'm not supposed to. Dad says I have to keep my face hidden.
	The doorbell rings. Stan goes to answer the front door and sees Cartman.
Cartman	What the hell is going on?! Are you having Mr. Jefferson over for dinner?!
Stan	No, my parents are.
Cartman	You guys better not be trying to Bogart my friend away!
Stan	What?
Cartman	He is my friend, got it?! I was friends with him before you assholes were, [Stan steps back...] and I-
	He closes the door. Stan walks away and Cartman looks through a window.
Cartman	Stan! Stan, I'm seriously! You'd better not be talking bad about me in there to Mr. Jefferson!
	The dining table.
Gerald	Hey, you know Kobe Bryant was up in Eagle today.
Randy	Oh yeah? What do you think, Mr. Jefferson? Do you think Kobe's guilty or innocent?
Michael	[taken aback] D'huh?
Stephen	I think he's definitely going to jail. I just love seeing smug celebrities get their comeuppance.
Michael	I think it's wrong what the police do to wealthy black men.
Gerald	Oh come on, Mr. Jefferson, you're not one of those who think that the police go around framing rich black people just because they're jealous?
Michael	Yeah! Because their hearts are full of greed and they have... doo-doo in their souls.
	Park County Police Station. Inside Harris waits for a fax to finish printing. As another officer walks by with a cup of coffee, he takes a sheet from the machine.
Harris	Hey Sergeant, take a look at this.
Yates	[disregards the sheet] Whatcha got?
Harris	Looks like a new family has just moved into South Park. One Mr. Jefferson, age 50, bought a house there and paid cash. He seems to have a lot of money.
Yates	So, what's the problem?
Harris	Take a look. Says here... [the sergeant takes the sheet and reviews it] He's black.
Yates	By God, so he is. Black and rich. Time to take this Mr. Jefferson down, just like we did Kobe.
	He hands the sheet and the cup of coffee to the officer and address the department.
Yates	Let's go people!
	Yates turns, takes his coat from the coat rack and puts it on
Yates	We've got another rich black guy. I want him humiliated and dragged through the dirt, and I want it done by the books!
	Stan's house, night. Stan is asleep in his room when someone pounds at his window. Stan wakes up, then goes to the window.
Stan	[looks out] Kyle?
	Stan opens the window. Michael, dressed as Peter Pan, crawls up and in.
Michael	Hey, Stan, whatcha doin'? [dances a little]
Stan	Mr. Jefferson Awww! [hops off the bed] It's 1:30 in the morning!
Michael	Look at me, I'm Peter Pan.
	Michael draws his small sword and swings it. His mustache falls off.
Michael	T-shamon! I'm a little boy forever.
	Michale raises himself up on his tippy-toes.
Michael	Hey!
Stan	Mr. Jefferson, I have to go to school tomorrow!
Cartman	Oh, son of a bitch! I knew it! What the hell are you doing, Stan?! I'll tell you what you're doing! You're trying to steal MY best friend!
Stan	He just showed up here.
Cartman	Remember, Mr. Jefferson? You said we were best friends. [a knock is heard at Stan's door]
Stan	Jesus Christ!
	Stan goes to the door and finds Kyle and Blanket in the hallway.
Kyle	Dude, look who I found prowling around in my back yard.
Blanket	[wearing his veil] Hi, Stan.
Kyle	He was out all alone in the middle of the night. Mr. Jefferson isn't even home.
Stan	I know. He's here.
Kyle	What?!
Michael	Oh Kyle, Blanket, yay, it's a slumber party!
Stan	No! Mr. Jefferson, you need to take your son home.
Michael	We can't go home. There's a ghost in our house. Me and Blanket are scared.
Blanket	Dad says it wants to eat us.
Michael	Please don't make us go back home. Please! We're scared, we're scared!
Blanket	We're scared!
Mr. Jefferson	Hee hee!
Stan	Okay, fine, we'll all stay here, but we're going to sleep now!
Kyle	Come on, Blanket.
	Kyle takes Blanket to bed. Stan follows them and all three slide into place.
Michael	Now let's all sleep and dream Heehee! of fun and adventurous things shamonah! It's time for us all to say goodnight
Cartman	Deeper.
	Cartman turns to Mr. Jefferson and hugs him. Stan rolls his eyes and looks at Cartman again, then closes his eyes and begins to dream...
Cartman	Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
Michael	I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
	They get closer and closer to each other.
Cartman	Yeah?
Michael	Yeah.
Cartman	Yeah?
Michael	Yeah.
Cartman	Yeah?
	They're about to kiss, and Stan wakes up startled.
Stan	Ahaa!
	Stan looks over to his right and sees them both asleep.
Michael	[wakes up] What's the matter, Stan? Did you have a bad dream?
Stan	Yeah. A really bad dream.
	Stan shuts his eyes and sinks down into his bed.
Stan	Oh Jesus!
	The Jefferson house. An unmarked police car, blue in color, waits across the street. Harris sips on a soda.
Yates	[using his walkie-talkie] Murphy, you inside?
Murphy	[walking through the arcade room] We're inside, sir. Harris was right. This guy looks like he has more money than all of us put together. Black sonofabitch!
	He whips out a package of something white.
Murphy	I'm planting the cocaine now.
	He sets it under the toy machine Cartman was using earlier.
Yates	Johnson, what about you?
Johnson	[in a closet] Placing the blood spatter now, sir. [right on a pair of Jefferson's shoes]
Yates	Frakes?
Frakes	Placing pubic hair from the raped girl now, sir.
Yates	All right, when this Jefferson guy shows up, arrest him fast and try not to beat him. There could be neighbors with video cameras. [sighs] Why do we do it, Harris?
Harris	Sir?
Yates	Why is it that us policemen around the country have such a passion for framing wealthy African-Americans with crimes they didn't commit?
Harris	Oh, why? I guess I never thought about why, sir. We just do it.
Yates	Twenty-five years I've been on the force. I've seen every kind of sick, depraved act known to humanity and still, when I see a black man walk by who has more money than me, I... want to vomit my gizzards right in the gutter. But why? Maybe there is no reason. Maybe there's just a big blue ball out there that's mostly covered with water and we're just goin' along for the ride.
	Stan's house, morning. Someone knocks on Stan's door.
Randy	Stan, time to get up for school. [opens the door and looks in] Stan? What the-? [sees the five people in bed] Mr. Jefferson?!
Michael	[sits up quickly] Oh oh, we were just having a slumber party.
	The boys sit up and look at Randy.
Randy	Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate!
Michael	Inappropriate? No, you're being ignorant. They're my friends. You see, I- I didn't have a childhood, so I'm really just a child myself.
	He takes out some bills from a back pocket and approaches Randy and Sharon
Michael	Here, everything's okay. I want you each to have a hundred dollars. [gives each of them 100 dollar bills]
Randy	Wow, I'm gonna go buy that new sport coat I've been wanting. [leaves, and Sharon watches him go]
Michael	Come on, Blanket. We have to go home and feed the animals. Bye, friends. [quickly leaves with Blanket in tow]
Sharon	Boys, I do not want you going over to Mr. Jefferson's anymore. Do you understand?
Stan	You don't have to tell us twice, Mom. That guy's a freak!
Cartman	Not go to Mr. Jefferson's anymore? Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat, hairy balls! [Stan, Kyle, and Sharon are shocked]
	The stakeout at Jefferson house, day. The two officers are snoring, but Yates is roused by the sound of a voice.
Michael	Come on, Blanket!
Yates	Hey Har- Har- Harris! Harris!
Harris	[walks] Wha- wha- what?
Yates	It's Jefferson! He's back! [gets on his communicator] All right, people. Let's give Blacky a nice welcome home.
	He and Harris whip out firearms and aim. Mr. Jefferson opens the front door and goes back to the front lawn to retrieve his wooden sword.
Yates	Whoa, wait a minute! [withdraws his gun] That guy isn't black!
	Blanket heads down the steps, and Mr. Jefferson takes him inside.
Yates	Holy God, his son isn't black either! Oh Jesus! [gets on his communicator] This is Yates! Stand down! I repeat, stand down! Suspect is not black!
	Yates scolds Harris.
Yates	You son of a bitch, you told my this guy was African-American!
Harris	It says right here on the final sheet he is!
Yates	[shoves Harris's face against the windshield] Does that look like a black guy to you?!
Harris	It said on the final sheet!
Yates	[throws a fit] Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! We could have made an innocent man go to jail who wasn't black! Oh!
	He grabs his own neck, then quickly opens his door and vomits onto the street.
Yates	Wuuugh! Wuugh! Ohaugh. Ugh.
	Yates wipes his lips clean with the back of his hand and now looks exhausted.
Yates	Jesus, Harris. What are we becoming? We're supposed to... protect the people. Where have we lost our way?
Harris	Sir, it's possible that he is black, even though he doesn't look it.
Yates	[whips around and says menacingly] To hell with you! I'm never gonna frame an innocent man again! Unless I know he's black for sure!
	Inside the house, Mr. Jefferson closes all the windows and curtains.
Michael	All the adults are trying to get us. Get up to your room, Blanket, and put your mask on! We can't go outside anymore!
	Moments later, Blanket is in his room looking outside. Across the street, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny walk by. Kyle looks up and notices Blanket looking bored..
Kyle	[stops] That poor kid.
Stan	Dude, come on. We're not supposed to go over there.
	Kyle crosses the street anyway and Kenny shrugs. Stan and Kenny follow/
Blanket	[opens his windows as they approach] Hi guys!
Kyle	Hey Blanket. Uh, look, we're goin' over to help my dad chop wood. You... wanna come with?
Blanket	Really? You mean it?
Michael	[interrupts, clapping] Oh yay, my friends are here! Come inside and play, guys!
Stan	Ah, actually, Mr. Jefferson, we were seeing if Blanket wanted to chop wood with us.
Michael	Chop wood? No, that's ignorant. That's poopie work. Blanket and me wanna play!
Stan	Mr. Jefferson, uh, it might be good for Blanket to learn how to chop wood.
Michael	Blanket likes to play, don't you Blanket? [picks him up and moves him around through the open window] Wee, look! He can fly!
Kyle	[the boys fear for Blanket's life] Jesus Christ, dude!
Blanket	Aaaaaah! [Mr. Jefferson dangles him around by his left foot]
Stan	Stop, you fucking lunatic! [Mr. Jefferson's moustache falls off and down to the ground, he pulls Blanket back inside and closes the window]
Kyle	Dude, we have got to get that kid away from him!
	Blanket's room. He's crying on a giant plush teddy bear. Mr. Jefferson tries to soothe him.
Michael	No, Blanket, shhhh. Stop crying. It's okay, Blanket. Here, look.
	Michael spins around and does a pelvic thrust.
Michael	Jeekabee durtah! [a kick and outstretched arm] Ow!
	Blanket returns to crying into his teddy bear, Mr. Jefferson goes to soothe him again.
Michael	There, Blanket, shhhh. [tries to distract Blanket] Hey, hey look, hey look.
	Michael touches Blanket's nose and has his thumb pop out between index and middle finger.
Michael	I got your nose. [does it again.] Look! Lookit, I got your nose. I got your nose, Blanket. See?
	Does it again, and Blanket is quiet. He then smiles and grabs at his father's nose, giggling... and finds it in his hand.
Blanket	Aaaaaaaah! [throws it away and runs out of his bedroom]
Michael	No, Blanket, stop!
	picks up his nose, puts it back in place, and pursues Blanket.
Michael	It's ignorant. You're being ignorant!
	Yates' house, later. He enters. A woman appears moments later.
Maggie	Harrison, why haven't you called? You know how I worry.
Yates	I'm givin' up, Maggie. I'm quitting the force.
	Yatesremoves his jacket, and places it on a coat rack, then walks to a desk.
Maggie	Quitting the force? You?
Yates	None of it makes sense anymore. [sits down and unloads his frustrations] I don't even know if what we're doing is right. The last thirteen hours we've been working on a case, trying to get a real scumbag off the streets. And when he walked up to the door, I could have sworn he was white. Maybe I can't tell the difference anymore. Maybe it doesn't matter. Because it seems like every time we frame a rich black guy, he's back out on the streets in no time. It's just like OJ. Do you know how hard those cops worked to frame him? The tireless hours they put in?! And then he just gets off because somebody messed up and said the N word out loud too many times. I guess I'm just tired. I'm just damn tired.
Maggie	[approaches and consoles him] Not another word of that kind of talk, Harrison Yates. [he looks up at her] Believe me I would love nothin' more than to have you quit the force and no longer have to worry about whether or not you're comin' home. But I know you. Framin' rich black men for crimes they didn't commit is in your blood. Wiping that rich, smug smile off their faces is the only thing that puts a smile on yours. You're a good cop, Harrison Yates. You don't have to question that. Because I'm here to tell you. [she caresses him, he kisses her hand]
Yates	And you're a good wife, Maggie. You know me better than I know myself. [abruptly rises and goes to the coat rack]
Maggie	Where're you goin'?
Yates	Think I've got a little more work to do. [puts on his coat and heads outside]
	The Jefferson house, night. Cartman walks up to the door and knocks.
Cartman	Mr. Jefferson? It's your best friend in the whole wide world, Eric Cartman. Mr. Jefferson? I came to sleep over tonight, remember?
	Mr. Jefferson room. He's on the phone with someone.
Michael	No, Dr. Nelson, I'm telling you, you have to fly out here right now! My nose came off again!
	Michael tosses his nose away, puts more lipstick on his lips.
Michael	I know you live in California; I'll pay for your plane ticket!
	Michael pulls at his hair, and some of it comes off.
Michael	But I'm falling apart! I need some more of that cream and the injections! I have to look young again!
	Michael picks up a stylus and pokes his lips, which pop and let fly some collagen. The skin on his lower jaw drops down and reveals some teeth.
Michael	Oh, I'm melting!
	The Jefferson house, outside. A ladder is propped up against the side of the house. Kyle, Stan, and another boy approach. The boy wears the same mask Blanket usually does.
Kyle	All right. Thanks a lot for helping us, dude.
Kenny	Yeah, sure, whatever.
Stan	You just gotta pretend you're Blanket until we can get the real Blanket somewhere safe.
Kenny	Aren't I too big to be Blanket?
Kyle	[seething as he climbs the ladder] I don't think Mr. Jefferson pays enough attention to his son to notice. Come on! [Stan and Kenny follow]
	Blanket's bedroom. Blanket silently cries and the door creaks open.
Stan	Blanket, you in here?
Blanket	[excited] Hi guys!
	Stan, Kyle, and Kenny spread out and hop onto Blanket's bed.
Kyle	Shh, Blanket, we're gonna take you away for a little while, okay? [Kenny looks around]
Blanket	You are? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
	Kyle whisks Blanket away, Stan motions Kenny into place.
Stan	All right dude, get in his bed.
Kenny	[gets under the covers] All right, but you guys owe me for this.
Stan	Dude, whatever. At least you finally get to do something. [hops off and leaves]
	Santa Barbara Police Department, Snetzl's desk. His phone rings and he picks it up.
Snetzl	Santa Barbara Police Department, this is Snetzl.
	Park County Police Department, Yates' desk.
Yates	Hello, this is Sergeant Yates over at the Park County Police Department in Colorado.
Snetzl	Yes, sergeant. What can I do for you?
Yates	Well, we've been trying to frame this guy who just moved into our town, and the fil-o-fax says he moved from your area. One Martin Jefferson?
Snetzl	Hm. No, we never had a any rich African-Americans named Jefferson here. If we had, we would have framed him ourselves.
Yates	Well, he doesn't really look that black.
Snetzl	Yeah, I don't, uh... Hold on a second. There was one we framed a couple of times, but the black bastard was so rich he made bail and disappeared before the trial.
Yates	You say he disappeared? What did you frame him for?
Snetzl	We, uhhh, found some kids that had stayed over at his place, and we asked them to lie and make up some false molestation charges.
Yates	Molestation, nice.
Snetzl	Yeah, it was a lot of work. Took years, but we were finally able to arrest him. Then we planted some evidence, took embarrassing photos of his penis, and threw him in a dirty prison cell with feces on the walls. You should have seen him squirm!
Yates	That's damn fine police work, sergeant. Damn fine.
Snetzl	Heh, yeah, but the point is this guy didn't really look black either. We had to sneak in while he was asleep and get a DNA sample to be sure.
Yates	[rises from his chair. Other officers draw near] Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! It must be the same guy!
	The Jefferson house. Cartman knocks on the front door again.
Cartman	Mr. Jefferson, hello?!
	The bathroom. Stan, Kyle, and Blanket prepare a carry-on bag.
Kyle	Come on, Blanket! We gotta go before your dad sees us.
	They turn towards the window next to the tub and head to it. Michael appears behind them.
Michael	What are you doing with my Blanket?
	The boys freeze. Kyle turns around and sees a disjointed, disheveled Jefferson in a Thriller outfit. The camera does a vertigo effect. Michael walks up to the boys.
Michael	Come on, Blanket, play with me. Jeechabee durtah! Hee! [an outstretched arm]
Stan, Kyle, Blanket	Haaaaa!
Stan	Go, go, ruuun! [the boys run out of the bathroom]
Mr. Jefferson	[whispers as he walks] Sutah!
	The Hallway. The boys run towards the stairs.
Stan, Kyle, Blanket	Haaaaa!
Michael	[rounds a corner onto the hallway] Wuchatennah! Jamonah! Heehee!
Stan	[The boys enter Blanket's room] Oh Jesus!
Kenny	What the hell is going on, you guys?
Michael	[enters and heads for Blanket's bed] My Blanket! Let's play, Blanket! [pulls Kenny out of the bed]
Kenny	Nonono wait, I'm not Blanket!
Michael	[tossing Kenny up into the air] Wee, he can fly! He can fly!
Kenny	Aaaah! Aaaah, stop! A-
	Kenny's head goes through the ceiling and blood runs down his body. It begins to drip from his feet.
Stan	Oh my God, he killed Kenny!
Kyle	You bastard!
	Michael turns around and sees the boys.
Michael	Blanket? Blanket! Come play! [slowly approaches the boys]
Blanket	Nooo! [Stan turns to leave]
Kyle	[grabs Blanket's hand and leaves as well] Come on!
	The Jefferson house, front lawn. Kyle opens the front door and the boys exit.
Stan	Run, Blanket, Run!
Blanket	[stumbles] Ah!
Michael	[exits] Dainduh! Dainduh Dainduh!
Kyle	[Kyle and Stan help Blanket up] Hang on, Blanket!
	The three run off and a floodlight turns on, blinding Michael.
Mr. Jefferson	[shielding his eyes] Dugh! Heehee! Ja-!
Yates	[through his bullhorn] Freeze, Jefferson! The gig is up! You are wanted for child mo-les-tation!
Cartman	[hops to Mr. Jefferson's defense, standing in front of him] No! I am sick and tired of people harassing Mr. Jefferson! [a crowd, including the boys' parents, gathers] All I've been hearing since Mr. Jefferson moved here are sick lies! That he molests children, that he's a bad father, that he has plastic surgery!
Michael	It's ignorant.
	His lower jaw literally drops to the ground. He bends down, picks it up, and pops it back in place.
Cartman	Sure, maybe Mr. Jefferson's a little different. But that's because he had to work all the time when he was young and missed out on his childhood. What's wrong with wanting to have the innocence and beauty of a child.
Kyle	[returns with Blanket] All right, let's just say all the bad things said about Mr. Jefferson are lies! Let's say the police department does just go around spending their time framing people for crimes they didn't commit!
Kyle	Let's say it's all made up, and Mr. Jefferson is just a nice guy who's trying to be a child because he never got to have a childhood. Well that's fine, except for that he HAS children now! And when people have children, they have to grow up!
Michael	[closeup for a few seconds] You're right. I've been so obsessed with my childhood that I've forgotten about his. I thought having lots of rides and toys was enough, but... Blanket doesn't need a playmate. He needs a father, and a normal life. Chickuckoo gainuh. [genuflects behind Blanket] Blanket, I wanna give away all my money. I- I wanna get a normal job and... take a shot at raising you in a normal setting.
	Blanket removes the ornate mask, and Blanket blinks while shielding his eyes. Blanket moves over to his friends.
Blanket	Look everybody! I'm a normal little boy.
Yates	[approaches with Harris] Well, if you're gonna give away all your money, then, I guess we can drop all those charges. No point in putting another poor black man in jail.
Kyle	All right! Things just might work out!
Michael	Things can always work out, as long as we know we have the power to change.
	Music begins to play as the neighbors and officers gather around him.
Michael	We all have the power to change if we search inside our hearts And we start to heal the wounds of all our yesterdays And you know it might be hard, but all you've got to do is start, And you can change all of your evil molesting ways. Jejabee durtah! Hee-hee! OOOOH! Jejabee durtah! Hee-hee! Jamonah! butcha-tamonah! Chich-cha!
杰弗逊父子 结束