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Leftarrow 第201集 残疾夏令营/剧本 又穷又蠢 Rightarrow

出场角色

  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Butters Stotch
  • Timmy Burch
  • Jimmy Valmer
  • Towelie
  • Cashier
  • Rancho Palos Verdes Counselor
  • Jeff Van Vonderen
  • The Lake Tardicaca Campers and Staff
    • Nathan
    • Mimsy
    • Francis
    • Lenora
    • "Beaky Buzzard"
    • "Droopy Dawg"
    • "Elmer Fudd"
    • "Pete Puma"
    • "Porky Pig"
    • "Sylvester"
    • Specialist 1
    • Specialist 2
    • Specialist 3
    • Counselor Steve

剧本

残疾夏令营
Announcer
This program contains subject matter

and language that might be disturbing to some viewers.

Viewer discretion is advised.
Towelie
[walking down the street being friendly] Hey everybody, how's it goin'?
The Towel
The Drug Addict
Towelie
[taking a hit from a bong] I just... I just can't seem to stop.
Towelie has agreed to be in a
 documentary about addiction
Towelie
Hey you! You goin' swimmin'? Don't forget to bring a towel. [coughs]
He does not know he is about
 to face an intervention
Towelie
[stumbling around, tattered and wasted] Get out of my face! Get out of here! [runs at the camera and shoves it out of his face. The camera spins around in a blur of lights]
Intervention
Towelie
[in studio] My name is Towelie. T O W E L uh-Y E Y. I'm great at cleanin' up spills. [a man spills his drink in a mall and Towelie throws himself at it, soaking it up. Next, he sends himself into a washing machine at a laundromat] And I'm 100% machine washable. I'm just... an ordinary towel, in a lot of ways. [hangs himself up to dry on a clothesline in someone's backyard] Except for one. [back to the studio] I'm addicted to marijuana. And crystal meth. ...aaand crack. [next scene is a wasted Towelie taking another hit from his bong]
Nine years ago Towlie started
 smoking marijuana. Two years later he started
experimenting with crystal meth.
Towelie
[scorched and wasted, walks down the street] Hey buddy, want your dick sucked? [bends over for a moment] Does anybody want their dick sucked by a towel?
Stan
Towelie has become a complete nightmare in our town! He's broken into my house twice, and stolen my allowance! I-I've got almost nothing left!
Kyle
If we're playing outside he shows up completely wasted and, and screaming how the government is following 'im.
Butters
[cries, taking a tissue from the box next to him] Why I, I just don't wanna watch him kill himself... I don't even know who he is anymore!
Stan
There's noo doubt in my mind that if we don't get Towelie help, our entire summer is gonna be ruined! [Towelie is shown lighting a joint as the camera pulls away]
A Lake Tardicaca, Camp for the Handicapped, day. It sits by the side of a lake, and disabled campers mill around in it. Some campers sit around a campfire, others help set up tents, still others play in the lake. The following song plays as the scene is established
Singers

Are you ready for the summer?
Are you ready for the good times?
Are you ready for the birds and bees?
The apple trees?
And a whole lot of fooling around?
Are you ready for the summer?
Are you ready for the good times?
Are you ready for the birds and bees?
The apple trees?
And a whole lot of fooling around?
Are you ready for the fireflies,
the moonlit skies,
and a whole lot of fooling around

Timmy and Jimmy walk into camp. Jimmy sports some blue sunglasses. Both boys are dressed for swimming
Jimmy
Oh boy, Timmy, it's our favorite time of year.
Timmy
Timmeh!
Jimmy
We get to see all our old friends again. Hey, there's Francis. Hey Francis!
Francis
[practicing how to light a fire with a stick, a bow, and a small board] Hi Jimmy, hi Tim.
Timmy
[waves, grinning] Timmy.
Specialist 1
Wow, look at Lenora everyone. [Lenora dog-paddles her way to the shore] Good job. Come on, good job Lenora. Ahahall right, good, let's get Lenora a towel. [Lenora begins to shiver. The song ends at this point] Come on, come on, where's the towel?
Specialist 2
[looks inside the towel cart] The towel isn't here. I think it's off getting high again.
For the past week Towelie has

been working at a summer camp for handicapped children.

He has been given warnings

for getting high fourteen times.
Towelie is tying a rubber band around his upper right arm, preparing to inject himself
Specialist 3
[walks nearby looking for him] Hey! [startled, Towelie lets the rubber band snap off and fall to the ground] Where is that towel?!
Towelie
Oh yeah, just a sec. [the specialist sees him]
Stan
[in studio] We went out and got Towelie a job so he could try to pay us back all the money he owes us! [crosses his arms] Stupid towel!
Specialist 3
[now next to Towelie] What's going on, Towel?
Towelie
Oh yeah I just had to take a piss. Sorry.
Specialist 3
We got wet campers down there! Move your ass!
Kyle
[in studio] When Towelie is doing heroin, he doesn't care about anything.
Towelie
[now wasted and tattered] I don't care about anything. Stupid... handicapped... camp. [walks by a campfire circle where Jimmy is holding court with his team]
Jimmy
Alright blue team. As team captain, I need to make sure we are ready for the big camp competition.
"Elmer Fudd"
Oh we're weady aww wight. We can weawwy stick it to the wed team this yeaw, wahahahaha.
"Beaky Buzzard"
No way, Red Team can beat us, no way. Haha, hahaha.
"Droopy Dawg"
Red Team won't know what hit them.
Jimmy
All right! Everyone together! Are we gonna beat Red Team this year?
Blue Team
Yeah!
Timmy
Timmy!
Blue Team
Yeah! [a couple of members go on separately] Alright!
Nearby, Nathan and a huge boy listen in
Nathan
I can't stand him, Mimsy. That Jimmy kid makes my fuckin... skin crawl.
Mimsy
Duhh you always hated Jimmy, boss. Ever since he whooped you at soifin' last summer camp, he really took it to you good, haha.
Nathan
[smacks him with a right hook and then shakes his fist] Shut up, Mimsssyyy!
Mimsy
Doh, sorry, boss.
Nathan
Listen to me: there is no way that Blue Team is gonna beat Red Team this year at camp. You got that?
Blue Team has beaten Red Team

the past three summers at Lake Tardicaca.

The three legged race is Blue

Team's best event.
Nathan
What we need to do, Mimsy, is use a little brainpower to make sure Blue Team can't compete.
Mimsy
Oh boy, we're gonna ruin Blue Team's chances, huh? We're gonna break their legs or somethin', boss?
Nathan
[smacks him with a right hook and then shakes his fist] Shut up, Mimsssyyy! Just do what I say, and we can make sure Jimmy Valmer gets what's comin' to him.
Specialist 1 has applied Towelie to Lenora, and Towelie gets her dry.
Specialist 1
There you go, Lenora, all better now?
Lenora
Yes, thanks.
Towelie
That's right. When you go swimmin', don't forget to bring a... [throws up all over Lenora]
Lenora
Uhhh!
Specialist 3
Who hired that towel? It can barely walk, let alone dry somebody off.
Towelie
[picking a fight] You think you're better than me? Huh?! You think you're fuckin' hot shit?!
Stan
[in studio] A lot of times, when Towelie shoots heroin he just... gets angry at everybody.
Towelie
You can all suck it! You're all, you're all a bunch of towels, that's what you are! [walks off in disgust]
Butters
[in studio, sobbing] The thing is, Towelie was pretty happy before. He had a girlfriend he liked. [a picture of the couple is shown, but her face is blurry. The picture was taken at a restaurant booth] And then she got pregnant and had a little washcloth. [A picture of the three of them at the hospital. She shows off Washcloth, but her face is still blurry] Mm but then Towelie just kept gettin' more and more high, and he got kicked out of the house.
Towelie
[wasted. wandering in the woods] Fuck you! Let me talk to 'im! Let me talk to 'im, you bitch!
Towelie is attempting to talk

to his son.

His ex-wife will not let her son

talk to Towelie when he is high.
Towelie
No! I'm not high! I haven't been high since Wednesday! [the anger leaves his face] Oh. Oh it is Wednesday?
Camp Tardicaca, day. One of the specialists stands next to an event scoreboard with ten events listed
Specialist 1
[over the megaphone] All right, campers! Our first event is the big canoe race!
"Pete Puma"
Oh boy, the canoe races! Heeee! [the team turns right and walks away]
"Porky Pig"
We gotta be uh bitty bitty uh we uh we gotta be we gotta be uh we gotta bibbity beat the Red Team. [turns and walks off with the others. Nearby, Nathan and Mimsy listen in again]
Nathan
I've got it, Mimsy. I got a way to win the race and get rid of Jimmy for good.
Mimsy
Darrr, oh boy, what are we gonna do, boss?
Nathan
Simple, Mimsy. [pulls out a bag with something in it] We're gonna put a little surprise in the canoe.
Mimsy
Doh, dohhh, what kind of surprise uh? [Nathan pulls a snake out of the bag by its head] Oh! It's a snake.
Nathan
Not just any snake, Mimsy. It's a Black Mamba.
The Black Mamba is the deadliest

snake known to man.

The odds of surviving a Black Mamba in your canoe

are 546 to 1.
Mimsy
Aww, dah, gee whiz boss, we're gonna kill all the Blue Team and Jimmy, huh? [Nathan shushes him]
Specialist 4
You boys excited for the canoe race?
Nathan
Yes, counselor Steve. I like the fun canoe.
Specialist 4
[encouraged] Canoes are fun, aren't they? [walks away]
Nathan
[now that the counselor is gone...] Now take the Black Mamba, [hands the bag to Mimsy] Mimsy, and put it in the canoe. I'm gonna go get our team ready.
The teams have sat down inside their canoes
Specialist 1
All right, campers are we ready?
All
Yeah!
Nathan
Good luck, Jimmy.
Jimmy
You too, Ne-n-Nathan.
Nathan
You're gonna need it, you fuckin' asshole.
Specialist 1
Oh your mark, get set. [another specialist shoots off her gun, and both boats take off. Nathan switches his oar to his right side, but notices something on the floor: the Black Mamba Mimsy was to put in the other canoe.]
Nathan
Aaah! Holy shit, Mimsy! What the hell did you do?!
Mimsy
Darrr, you said to put the Black Mamba in the canoe, boss.
Nathan
[shakes his fist] Not in our canoe, Mimsy!
Mimsy has put the Black Mamba

snake in the wrong canoe.

The odds of the Red Team winning the canoe race

are now 1 in 19.
Nathan's crew begins to bail on him, allowing the Blue Team to win this event
"Sylvester"
We crossth the finish line firsht!
Lake Tardicaca. Steve rushes to a supply shack to get Towelie
Steve
[tries to open the door, but finds it locked] Heeey. Hey, we need a towel! [pounds on the door]
Towelie
Uh, oh, um, uh, just a sec!
Steve
Not just a sec! We've got a whole lot of wet campers down there! [tries to get the door open by throwing himself at it a few times] What's going on?! [kicks the door in and is instantly shocked at what he sees: Towelie on his knees in front of an elderly man who's pulling up his pants]
Towelie makes extra money

for drugs by offering oral

sex to older men.
The man rushes out of the shack while the specialist remains speechless
Towelie
Hey, you owe me money, asshole!
The camp office, later.
Specialist 1
That's it, we're done! You are no longer employed here!
Kyle
Please, sir.
Specialist 1
We need a nice, clean towel here at summer camp. We don't need a towel that shoots heroin and has sex for money!
Towelie
Heh, some people are so picky about their towels.
Lake Tardicaca, later.
Specialist 3
All right campers, next event is the big scavenger hunt! Blue Team is gonna go first. [Nathan and Mimsy stand nearby, overhearing the specialist]
Nathan
I finally got it, Mimsy. I got a way we can kill Jimmy and beat the Blue Team.
Mimsy
Oh boy, what are we gonna do to him, huh boss?
Nathan
Simple. We're gonna get Jimmy killed by Native Americans. [reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a map] Here, take this. [Mimsy takes it and opens it up] It's a fake scavenger hunt map.
Mimsy
Dahhh, this map leads to the scavenger hunt?
Nathan
No, that map leads to the Indian reservation. We switch this with Blue Team's scavenger hunting map, and they'll end up right on the Tardicaca Indian Reservation.
The Tardicaca Indians are

extremely protective of their land.

Trespassing on the Tardicaca Reservation is considered

extremely dangerous.
Mimsy
Dah-oh boy! We're gonna get Jimmy killed by Indians, huh boss? [again Nathan shushes him as a specialist draws near to them]
Counselor Steve
Are you boys excited for the neat scavenger hunt?
Nathan
Yes, Counselor Steve. I like a scavenger hunt. [Steve walks away] Alright Mimsy, now you take this map to the Indian Reservation, and you switch it with Blue Team's map. You got that, Mims? You switch the map! Switch! The map!
Mimsy
I got it, boss. Switch the map. Switch the map. [walks away]
Lake Tardicaca, day. Nathan leads his team into the woods for scavenging.
Mimsy
Dah how come we're scavenger huntin' now, boss?
Nathan
Because, stupid, now that we have Blue Team's map we can get their scavenger prize too.
Mimsy
Dahhhoh boy!
The boys find themselves in a clearing. Nathan takes a look around
Nathan
This doesn't make sense. Why would they make us walk this far? We're handicapped. "Turn left at the..." Wait. Waitaminute, what? What the? [finds his way onto the Tardicaca Burial Grounds] Oh fuck! Mimsy! This is the map to the Indian Reservation!
Mimsy
Why sure it is, boss.
Nathan
I told you to switch this with the map for the Blue Team!
Mimsy
No, you told me to switch the map, switch the map, so I switched it, and I switched it. [his motions indicate he just flipped the map this way and that]
Nathan
Miiimmmssssyyyy! [all of a sudden, Indians appear on horseback.] Uh, my name is Nathan. I'm disabled. [the Indians fire at him and arrows go flying all over the place. He's struck a few times.] AAAAA!
Intervention
Towelie is walking towards a Supply Max store
Towelie:
Hey everybody. Let's all go to the office supply store. [inside he grabs as many bottles of computer duster as he can]
Towelie has run out of money

for hard drugs.

He now inhales computer

duster to get high.
Cashier
You must have one dusty computer.
Towelie
[irritated] Fuck you! It's not illegal, bitch! [goes to his red car outside, gets in, and closes the door. Inside he takes out a bottle of computer duster and starts sniffing. He goes through bottle after bottle, screwing up his face more and more] I feel like I could conquer the world.
Towelie now inhales up

to 2,000 cans of computer

duster a day.
Towelie
[taking a short break from his sniffing] It's like I'm walkin' on sunshine.
Butters
[in studio] I really think this intervention is Towelie's last chance. [at the Supply Max parking lot, walks up and kicks the door on Towelie's car] Towelie! Open the door!
Towelie
Go away! I'm walking on sunshine!
Butters
Towelie, I gotta take you somewhere really important!
Towelie
Jus', just let me walk on the sunshine a little more. [Butters waits]
Lake Tardicaca, day. The head specialist comes to announce some results
Specialist 1
[through the megaphone] All right! In the surfing competition, the Red Team is up three points to two. ["Elmer Fudd" puts his surfboard away] And now it's Jimmy Valmer's turn. [Jimmy goes out into the open water on his board]
Timmy
Timmeh!
Francis
Gee, I wish our team captain was as awesome as Jimmy. [The camera pans across the dock and on to Nathan and Mimsy]
Nathan
I finally got it, Mimsy. I got a way we can get rid of Jimmy once and for all.
Mimsy
Oh boy oh boy! What are we gonna do to him, boss?
Nathan
Simple. We're gonna get Jimmy eaten by a shark. [pulls out a small box in which is a whistle. He opens the box and takes out the whistle, and hads it to Mimsy] Here, take this. [Mimsy takes it, and Nathan puts the box back in his back pocket] It's a shark-mating whistle.
Mimsy
Dahhh okay boss, a shark-mating whistle. We're gonna hit him over the head with it, huh boss?'
Nathan
No, you moron. You go under the water and blow that whistle. You can attract sharks right as Jimmy starts to surf.
The Tardicaca shark is the

deadliest freshwater shark in Colorado.

A shark mating whistle can attract the shark from over two miles away.

* Colorado Department of Wildlife
Mimsy
Dahhh I've got it boss. I blow the whistle and make the shark come and bite Jimmy's legs off. [getting excited] Then he bleeds to death. He's gonna bleed to death. [Nathan shushes him again as Steve walks by]
Steve
Are you boys enjoying the fun beach?
Nathan
Yes, Counselor Steve. The beach is warm. [Steve walks off]
Mimsy
Gee that was a close one, huh boss? They almost had me saying we were gonna kill Jimmy.
Nathan
[smacks him with a left hook and then shakes his fist] Shut up, Mimsssyyy! Just swim in the water where Jimmy is, then blow that whistle.
Mimsy
Dohh boy! [walks away to complete his mission]
On the lake, Jimmy is set to surf to shore. He waits for a wave. On the shore...
"Pete Puma"
Yeah I don't know, Timmy. Those waves are pretty big, heeeee.
Timmy
Timmih.
"Beaky Buzzard"
Uhuhuh. Don't worry, Jimmy can handle himself.
Jimmy
Gonna catch a wave... [no wave is coming. Underwater, Mimsy swims by]
Mimsy
Dahhh I got me a shark whistle.
Jimmy
Oh boy, here it comes! Here it comes! [a wave rises high behind him and lifts him with it, then crashes down over and in front of him]
"Droopy Dawg"
Oh no! Jimmy!
"Elmer Fudd"
Wait, look! He's doing it! [Jimmy rises to the top and the campers cheer. He's doing all the surfing moves. Meanwhile, Mimsy comes out of the water and walks up to Nathan.]
Mimsy
Dohoho, oh boy!
Nathan
Mimsy, you didn't do wha' I told you.
Mimsy
Dahh whattaya mean, boss? You said to swim in the water and to blow the whistle. I swam in the water, so now I'm gonna blow the whistle. [blows hard into the whistle]
Mimsy was supposed to blow

the shark whistle while still under the water.

There appears to have been a

fundamental misunderstanding.
Mimsy blows the whistle a few more times
Nathan
You fucking idiot! You don't blow a shark mating whistle on dry land! You were supposed to blow it- [a shark jumps out of the water, lands on him, and begins to hump him] eh uh uh...
Mimsy's error has caused a Lake

Shark to come onto the beach and mate with Nathan.

The Tardicaca Lake Shark's penis is nine inches long.

* Colorado Department of Wildlife
Nathan
Mimsssyyy! Get this thing off of meee!
Intervention day
Stan
[in studio] Today is Towelie's intervention. We have ...no idea how he's gonna react.
Butters
Um come on, Towelie, it's, it's right over here.
Towelie thinks he is on
his way to the Laundromat.
Butters leads a battered and wasted Towelie to a door and opens the door. They walk into the room and see Clyde, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Stan, as well as a therapist, all waiting for them.
Towelie
Wha' what's goin' on?
Jeff VanVonderen
You wanna come over, have a seat with your friends? [Butters takes a seat between Kyle and Cartman, making space for Towelie to sit between him and Kyle. Towelie follows Butters to the sofa]
Towelie
What is everybody doing here?
Jeff VanVonderen
We've all just been talking, Towelie, and and what I'm hearing is a bunch of people here who just love the heck outtaya. And, they're gonna way what they wanna say, and you're gonna say what you wanna say, and we're done. Okay?
Butters
[reads from a note he wrote down earlier] Towelie, over the past couple of years, I have seen drug addiction affect you in the following ways.
Towelie
Aw Jesus, man.
Jeff VanVonderen
Ah ah Towelie, you need to let him finish.
Butters
You're not the towel you used to be. [sniffles] Where, as you used to be fluffy and absorbent, ye-you now are crusty and.... and unable to absorb the smallest amount of water. Will you get help today?
Towelie
I I don't, I don't get this.
Jeff VanVonderen
Kyle?
Kyle
[reads from a note he wrote down earlier] Towelie, over the past few months I have watched you go from an ancillary character with a few amusing catchphrases to a dried out spooge rag covered in the jizz of a thousand older men.
Towelie
Could we just end this please?
Jeff VanVonderen
You have to let him finish, Towelie.
Kyle
If you do not accept treatment I will no longer give you money or be your friend. I will not help you kill yourself.
Jeff VanVonderen
Alright. Eric, do you wanna go next?
Cartman
[reads his note] Kyle, I hate you so much. You are a liar and a swindler who would do anything for money, and I-.
Kyle
We're here for Towelie, fatass!
Cartman
I'm supposed to be allowed to finish, right? Is that right? [clears his throat] The Jews have been persecuted across the earth for good reason, Kyle. You are a race of beady-eyed thieves who are always wan- [Kyle walks over and rips the note from Cartman's hands]
Kyle
This is serious, you fucking asshole!
Cartman
I'm being serious, Kyle! Hello?!
Jeff VanVonderen
Kyle, we have to let people be allowed to finish during interventions.
Kyle
But he's just using his time on television to rant about-
Jeff VanVonderen
Kyle please, It is not your turn!
Cartman
[takes his note back. Kyle walks back to his seat] You are a race of beady-eyed thieves, Kyle, who throughout the millennia have squirmed and worked your way into the dark cubbyholes of society. [puts down that sheet, but reaches into his back pocket for another one] Where exactly did the Jews first get their power and how are they able to manipulate our minds today?
Kyle
Oh my God!
Lake Tardicaca, night. Time for the Talent Show Competition! A Hawaiian song starts up. Jimmy is singing and playing ukulele
Jimmy

It's a snap at Tardicaca Camp to learn to do the hula hula dance
I fell in love with a Tardicaca dove while doin' that funny funny dance.
And that poor little kid, why she never did know what love had in store.
So I made up my mind-

Nathan
Get ready, Mimsy. Blue Team is about to go boom.
Nathan and Mimsy stand in the shadows with their fingers in their ears
Red Team planted half a pound

of C4 in Jimmy's ukulele.

It is set to go off during the ukulele solo of

'Tardicaca Hula Gal'
Jimmy
So I made up my mind that I've just got to find the Tardicaca girl I did adore.
Campers

Wawawawander...

Jimmy

Hurr a little Tardicaca...

Campers

Hula...

Jimmy

She's a candy cane to wiggle

Campers

Hula...

Jimmy

She's sure to make you g-giggle.

Campers

Hula...

Jimmy

With her naughty little wiggle. I know someday

Campers

Hula...

Jimmy

I'm gonna try to make that Tardicaca gally mine, gally mine.
'Cause all the while I'm dreaming of her. My Tardicaca Hola Gal!

[begins playing the solo, but hits a B, which is off] Oh sorry, that's not right. Hang on. [tries playing it again, but this time hits an A. Behind some trees, Nathan and Mimsy look on]

Mimsy
Dahh I don't think he's playing the right note, boss. The C4 aint gonna go off.
Nathan
[smacks him with a right hook and then shakes his fist] Shut up, Mimsssyyy!
Intervention. Cartman continues to speak and now has a pile of notes to his right about two feet tall, enough for twelve thick books
Cartman
If in fact the Jews truly are shapeshifters, and I believe I've presented enough evidence here to prove that they are, then we must unite as a species to fight them and stop their plan of global domination and the control of our freedom. [puts the note on top of the pile and sits there quietly]
Jeff VanVonderen
Okay, Stan, you want to go next?
Stan
[reads his note] Towelie, if you do not go to treatment, we will all ignore you forever. Will you go?
Towel
What treatment?! What are you all talkin' about?!
Jeff VanVonderen
If you say yes, we leave here, pack your things, get on a plane, go to a treatment facility in Southern California, it's all set up.
Towelie
No! Fuck no! I'm not gettin' on, no fucking plane! This is bullshit! Don't give me fuckin' ultimatums! I thought you were my fuckin' friends.
Jeff VanVonderen
Well Towelie, your friends don't wanna watch you kill yourself anymore.
Towelie
Then fuck them! You're tellin' me I have to do this? Uh, I'm not left with any decisions here! [storms out of the intervention room]
Butters
[emotional] Towelie! We aren't the only ones in this intervention who've been hurt by you!
Towelie
Who are you talkin' about?! [Butters pulls out Washcloth from his back pocket and cries] Washcloth? You, you brought Washcloth?! Oh, that's low.
Lake Tardicaca, night. Jimmy is still singing "Tardicaca Hula Gal"
Jimmy

Out on the beach with my cute little peach where the waves are rolling in so high
Holding her hand, our feet on the sand-

Nathan
Dammit dammit!
Jimmy has skipped the ukulele

solo and moved on to the second verse of 'Tardicaca Hula Gal'.

This has set back Nathan's

plans immensely.
Nathan
Mimsy, get out there and demand the ukulele solo. It's our only chance.
Mimsy
Dahh okay boss. [goes towards the stage]
Jimmy
If you get in a pinch, go through, it's a cinch-
Mimsy
[at the stage] Darrr we want the ukulele solo! We want the ukulele solo!
Jimmy
Sorry Mims, I I just can't remember it.
Mimsy
Well we wants ya to play it, don't we?
Nathan
[behind the audience] Yeeeah!
Jimmy
Alright Mimsy, m-maybe you can show me how it's done. [hands the ukulele to Mimsy]
Mimsy
[hesitates, then] Dahh okay. It's real easy. You just play it like this. [takes the ukulele and begins to play]
Nathan
[runs up and takes the ukulele from Mimsy] Mimsssyyy! You idio', wha' are you doin'?
Mimsy
D'I was gonna show him how to play the solo, boss.
Nathan
That DOES it! I'm sick and tired of your stupidity, Mimsy! You are the biggest idiot I have ever met! And from now on, if I wanna do something, I'm gonna do it myself! [plays the solo and hits the right note. The ukulele blows up, launching him into the air] AAAAAAAA!
Nathan's frustration

with Mimsy has caused a momentary lapse in judgement.

He has played the B flat himself, thus causing his plan to literally

backfire on him.
Nathan
[lands with a thud on the beach] Uuuh! [gets up and swoons. The black mamba snake comes up and bites him on the left arm] AAAH! [a group of Tardicaca Indians rides by and shoots arrows into him. He falls to the ground again. The Tardicaca shark comes up out of the water again and humps him, again.] No, not the shark again! Not the shark again!
The intervention room. Towelie, Butters, and the therapist are all crying as Washcloth just lays there at the edge of a sofa cushion.
Towelie
Oh no, oh Washcloth, I'm so sorry.
Butters
He needs you to get better, Towelie. Please. [resumes crying]
Jeff VanVonderen
You've got so many people that just love the heck out of ya, Towelie. [resumes crying]
Towelie
All right. All right, I'll go.
Butters
You will?
Towelie
I don't wanna hurt Washcloth anymore.
Jeff VanVonderen
He's goin', everybody. Hugs! [the other boys come in and hug Towelie]
Lake Tardicaca, day. The paramedics have been called in and are preparing Nathan for the trip to the hospital
"Elmer Fudd"
Ohh Wed Team. Your captain weawwy got waped.
"Pete Puma"
I've never seen a kid get screwed by a shark before. Heeee!
"Beaky Buzzard"
I hope I never see it again. Ahhahahaha.
Jimmy
Nathan, your team put up an amazing fight. And even though I was crowned the King of Cripple Camp, I want you to know that you were the real ch-cha, champ.
Nathan
I hate you, Jimmy. I fucking hate you with everything in my entire being.
Mimsy
Dahhh you sure got it stuck it to you this year, boss.
Nathan
Shut up... Mimsssyyy. [the paramedics lift Nathan into the ambulance and take off]
Towelie is shown in flight
Towelie is going to Ocean View Terrace

Treatment Center in Rancho

Palos Verdes, California
Towelie is shown approaching the front doors to the treatment center with a small suitcase
Counselor
Hi, Towelie?
Towelie
Yeah, hi.
Counselor
[in his office] Towelie is definitely one of the most addicted towels we've ever seen here. He's probably the second most psychologically damaged towel I've come across since treating Kirstie Alley's towel, which, had seen some... uuff, some nasty stuff.
Towelie
[on a bench overlooking the ocean] I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring, but I'm learnin' to love what I am. I'm a towel.
Singer

Veins swell
You know me, Ellen
Enough to tell
Five steps, you're over

Towelie finished treatment and is back

living with his girlfriend Rebecca.

He has been sober since

April 26, 2010.
If you know a towel that is suffering

from addiction, please go to

www.restorestephenbaldwin.org
残疾夏令营 结束
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