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Leftarrow 死去的孩子 禁断之系/剧本 该屎的麻烦 Rightarrow

出场角色

  • Cartman
  • Butters
  • Stan
  • Kyle
  • Clyde
  • Fr. Maxi
  • Randy
  • Sharon
  • Shelley Marsh
  • Stephen
  • Linda Stotch
  • Ryan Valmer
  • Stuart McCormick
  • Mr. Mackey
  • Jimbo Kern
  • Ted and Hazel
  • Josie and Townsman (her husband)
  • Townsfolk
  • Archbishop, Auxiliary bishop, Assistant, and Priest

剧本

禁断之系
The Marsh house, day. The family exits and goes to the car. Stan's right arm is in a cast and sling from last week's gunshot at the end of the episode.
Randy
Come on, guys, we don't wanna be late!
Stan
[trailing behind] Do I have to go? It's the only day I get to play games.
Randy
We're all going. Come on! [the others get in]
On the road. Stan sits behind Randy, Shelley sits behind Sharon
Stan
[upset] don't understand why we have to go every Sunday.
Randy
Church is important, Stan. Way more important than video games and TV. Church is about community and coming together. A lot of things.
Sharon
All I know is that after church I feel better.
Randy
Yeah. Me too.
The church, day. There's a parking lot across from the Church, and the townsfolk park there for Sunday Mass. There's a crosswalk leading to the Church across the street. The Marshes pull in and say hello to the others
Randy
Mey, mornin' Stephen, Linda.
Stephen
[chuckling] Morning, guys.
After crossing the street, Randy plays doorman to the other congregants
Townsman
Aww thanks there, Randy.
Randy
you got it- hey, where's Josie?
Townsman
Oh, she slipped her disc in her neck. Poor thing can barely move.
Randy
Aw, she's gonna miss church? That's too bad. Give her my best. [other congregants move past him as he talks]
The church, interior. The congregants are in. Father Maxi finishes reading from the Gospel of John, chapter 3
Fr. Maxi
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, [adjusts his glasses over his left eye] so that whoever believed in him should have eternal life. This is the Gospel of the Lord.
Congregants
Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ. [all sit]
Fr. Maxi
[begins his sermon] Today's gospel talks about what the Lord has to give us. He did so because we could not control our temptations.
Randy
Kind of like a priest in a room full of naked boys. [snorts and other people start laughing]
Fr. Maxi
Uh Okay, okay, let's, let's try and have none of that today. In John 3;16 the Gospel tells us how God so loved the world he gave to us his only Son
Stephen
And a Catholic priest raped him. [all laugh]
Fr. Maxi
Okay, okay, Co-come on guys, Nu-now, what greater gift could the Lord has given to us?
Woman
Children's underwear which priests couldn't pull down so easily? [all laugh]
Fr. Maxi
Okay, let's, let's try to compose ourselves. Let's try and just get through this first one, okay guys? What does it mean that the Lord gave us his only begotten Son?
Townsman 1
It means that if you're a cute boy at a Catholic priest's swimming party you'd better be gettin'! [The congregants laugh. Randy gets carried and falls on the aisle laughing and pounding his fists on the floor.]
The Church. Mass ends and the congregant's exit.
Randy
Oh, that was a great one, Nelson. Salvation in a little boy's mouth. I'm gonna post that one for sure.
Woman 2
Who said the thing about naked boy salad?
Stephen
Oh that was Linda!
Jimbo
Well, see ya next week, everybody! [waves and moves off to his left]
Others
Yeah, see ya! See ya! Bye.
The Marsh car, on the way home
Stan
I really don't understand the point of all that.
Randy
[chuckles] Yeah, well, I used to think that about church when I was a kid too.
Stan
But back then I don't know if church was that stupid.
Randy
Hey, don't say things like that, Stan! You wanna go to fuckin' hell?
The Church, sometime later. Father Maxi is blowing out the candles, looking sad. Butters enters quietly through the back. Maxi walks to the front pew and sits down, then sighs. Butters walks up to him
Butters
Father, can I talk to you?
Fr. Maxi
Oh, of course, my child. What's troubling you?
Butters
Well, what's troubling you? [sits down next to Maxi] You know, at school the kids used to all make fun of me sometimes. One kid would say something mean, a-and then the other kids would laugh. I know how lousy it feels. I learned to just walk away, not give 'em all the satisfaction.
Fr. Maxi
Well, we can't all walk away. The-the priesthood is all I know. I, I dedicated my entire life to it. Ah I don't know anything else.
Butters
I know it seems impossible. I thought I'd be a punching bag my whole life. but now, I'm one of the popular kids. I even get invited to board night at Stan's house. My point is, sometimes, y-you just gotta put yourself out there.
The Marsh house, night. The four boys are seated at a table eating pepperoni pizza and drinking sodas. They're playing a board game called Western Legends. Cartman is wearing a straw hat for the occasion. There's the fifth card and chair waiting for someone to fill it
Cartman
I wanna be Calamity Jame this time.
Stan
How many cards do you start with, Kenny?
Kenny
(Two card) [the front door opens and the boys turn to see who it is]
Kyle
Oh, there's Butters!
Butters
[walks in] Oh hey, fellas. I hope you don't mind. I brought a friend. Come on in. [steps aside for his friend to appear - it's Fr. Maxi]
Fr. Maxi
Uh, hello, my children. [walks in. The boys just stare at him. Moments later he's seated with them, between Stan and Cartman, and Butters sits next to Kyle.]
Stan
Okay, so I-I guess I'm gonna go to the saloon and try to arrest Cartman.
Cartman
Let's see what you got, bitch.
Butters
So, Kyle, did you know Father is a really good singer? You like to sing too, don't you? No.
Kyle
No.
Fr. Maxi
Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good. Sing praise to his name, for that is pleasant.
Cartman
Ace. You lose. [Stan's jaw drops]
Randy
[coming down from the second floor] Hey Stan, [Stan sits up] have you seen my- [sees Fr. Maxi at the table, has a stunned look, then smiles, then] No way! [searches his pockets for the phone] Hang on! Hang on! I gotta post this!
Fr. Maxi
[quickly gets up to leave] Uh I shouldn't be here.
Randy
This is hilarious! [takes some pics] Four boys and a priest playing a board game!
Butters
Aw, Father, wait a-
Fr. Maxi
I should go.
Randy
Nononoait, let me get the picture. [Maxi goes out the front door and siappears]
Butters
Father! [follows Maxi out and closes the door]
Randy
Aw shit, I missed it!
Cartman
Ugh. [looks at Stan] Why did you invite Butters to game night?
Stan
I didn't invite him. [Cartman looks at Kenny, who just looks back]
On the sidewalk. Maxi looks dejected as he walks away. Butters catches up
Butters
Cmeon, Father, you can't give up so fast.
Fr. Maxi
This is just gonna make things way worse. People will rip on me.
Butters
Who cares? Who cares what people say?
Fr. Maxi
I do.
Butters
Aw, come on, you gotta be strong!
Fr. Maxi
[turns around] Why do you care?!
Butters
Because I was you. Okay? I wasn't always this cool. I've been through it. But then one day, somebody told me something. he said "life is full of love and light and bountiful things," and you know who told me that? you did! Two years ago, in church! You have a right to go and be happy! And if people wanna keep tryin' to knock you down, well, fuck 'em!
The Church, the following Sunday. The congregants gather again. In the parking lot, The Marshes see Mr. Mackey
Randy
Hey, mornin' Mackey!
Mr. Mackey
Well Happy Sunday! Mornin' Ted, Hazel.
Ted
Mornin'.
Hazel
Morning.
Others
Morning. [all head to church]
Randy
Ah, doin' better, huh, Josie?
Josie
A lot better. Thank you.
Randy
All right. [now at the church doors, tries to open then, no avail] Huh. What the? [realizes that the doors are locked] It's not open.
Ryan
Let me try. [goes up and tries to open the doors]
Randy
Hey! Hey, it's nine o'clock! Hey!
Woman
What's going on? [the doors unlock and open, and Butters steps out]
Randy
[poionts him out] Ohhh! [the others laugh]
Butters
There's no church today! You all are just gonna have to find some'n' better to do! [slams the doors shut and locks them.]
Randy
Hey... [tries to get them open again] Hey, open the door! Hey, come on! [pulls the doors harder and grunts]
The car, on the way home. No Mass today, so that's it.
Randy
Well this sucks. What are we supposed to do without church?
Sharon
I just feel so empty.
Shelley
What are you guys so upset about?
Randy
Shut up, Shelley!
A clearing in the woods outside of town, night. Randy and Butters are enjoying a small campfire, with marshmallows roasting on the open fire. They sit on two folding chairs
Butters
Isn't this great, Father? Fresh mountain air, a nice warm fire, a nice warm fire.
Fr. Maxi
I have to admit it's a pretty nice way to spend a Sunday. How many are your works, Lord? In wisdom you made them all.
Butters
Yeah, the Lord is pretty cool.
Fr. Maxi
He is. Because he brought me you.
A song comes on whose only verse is "Faith In Christ." The montage that accompanies it starts with Maxi and Butters walking through the forest. Maxi points to a bird. Maxi and Butters row in a canoe. Buttera and Maxi sit on a bench at Stark's pond watching the sunset. They watch a family of ducks floats by. Maxi puts his right arm around Butters, Butters puts his left hand on Maxi's lap. They go to the movies and enjoy some snacks. A couple to their left just stares at them. They're in the park on some swings when the four boys stop by and look at them, then continue walking. They're at the organ in church. Maxi plays some tunes for Butters. Maxi some Butters some Bible verses on the computer. At the public library, Maxi holds Butters a little closer, Butters puts his left hand over his right shoulder and cups it over Maxi's right hand. A man picks out from his computer nearby and looks at them. In his bedroom, Butters shows Maxi the fun he has in playing Professor Chaos. Back in the woods, at night, Maxi shows Butters a shooting star. Still in the woods, during the day, Butters points out a cloud formation that sort of resembles a dove.
The cathedral in Denver, day. The archbishop sits at his desk writing something down. The phone rings. He answers it.
Archbishop
Denver archdiocese. The Lord be with you.
Mr. Mackey
[outside the church in South Park] And with your spirit, m'kay? Uh, oh my name is Counselor Mackey, and w-uh we seem to be havin' a little problem with our local church here in South Park. OUr uh... our priest has gone missing.
Archbishop
[mutes the phone and whhispers] Oh, not another one! [unmutes the phone] All right, listen to me carefully. Your local priest has not done anything wrong. He's probably just taking some time off. Why is that suspicious?
Mr. Mackey
Well, it's not suspicious, we just kind of don't know what to do, you know? Uh.
Archbishop
We'll take care of it. There's no need to involve the authorities. Just sit tight. [hangs up and switches to another line] Send in a clean-up crew now! [theh doors quickly open and the clean-up crew appears.] We've got another one. A priest on South Park has gone rogue and is probably out doing his thing. I need you guys to get up there and clean up his mess.
Auxiliary
Don't worry, Your Holiness. By the time we're done with that town there won't be a lick of cum anywhere.
KidZone Roller Rink, day. Happy birthday, Clyde. Kids and adults skate in the center of the building while others sit outside the rink eating. At the birthday gathering, Kyle approaches Clyde and talks to him. Butters appears. Throughout the scene, "Flash Light" plays
Butters
Happy birthday, Clyde! [behind him is Fr. Maxi. They both have gifts for Clyde.] Hope you don't mind. I brought a friend.
Fr. Maxi
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.
Clyde
Dud, what are you talking about?!
Fr. Maxi
Come on, Father. Let's go tear up the skating rink. [they drop their gifts off and head to the rink. Clyde is angered by Fr. Maxi's presence, and Kyle notices.]
Kyle
Just leave it alone, Clyde. Butters brings him everywhere.
Fr. Maxi
I don't care, I don't want a fucking priest at my birthday party!
Kyle
[turns to calm Clyde down] It's all right, Clyde, it's all right.
In the rink, Butters tries to get Fr. Maxi to fit in.
Butters
That's it! You're doing great!
Fr. Maxi
Uh-ah. Oh, Mother Mary. I feel like everyone's staring at me. [he's not wrong...]
Butters
Nobody's staring. I'm gonna get us some soda pop. You just mingle with the other fellas![skates off]
Skeeter's wine bar, day. "A Place To Fall Apart" plays and the front doors are wide open. Randy and Stuart sit at the bar. Randy drinks some wine, Stuart some beer
Randy
What's it all about, huh? Are we just bags of carbon and water put on this planet for no purpose? You're born, you die, then you're just... food for the worms.
Stuart
It all does seem pretty meaningless.
Townsman 2
[appears in the doorway] Hey, the church is back open! There are people inside!
Jimbo
What?
Randy
The church is back open?
Townsman 3
Oh boy! Let's go let's go let's go let's go!
Others
The church is back open! Thank God! Let's go!
The church, inside. The cleanup crew is there doing its work.
Auxiliary
Scrub everything! Police can detect even a milligram of cum and rectal blood!
Randy
[enters with other bar patrons] Hey!
Auxiliary
Oh uh, hello my children. The Lord be with you.
Townsmen
And with your spirit.
Randy
What uh, what are you guys doing?
Auxiliary
Oh, we're just giving the place a nice scrub down while we wait for your priest to come back. He was called to South America last week.
Randy
Last week? No, he was at my house a couple of days ago playing board games with the boys.
Auxiliary
[turns the vacuum cleaner off. His assistants look at Randy] No he wasn't. Look, I assure you everything is fine. Your priest will be back. Just have some patience.
Townsmen
Awww.
Townsman 4
Come on, guys. [the townsmen turn around and leave]
The Marsh house. Having spoken to Randy, the cleanup crew heads to his house and scrubs it down, They're working on the table.
Auxiliary
Scrub everything. Bleach those board-game pieces. You find something on that chair?
Priest
It's either blood and cum, or ketchup and mayo. [the priest is scrubbing down Cartman's chair]
Auxiliary
Well, just get rid of it. Bleach the entire top of the table. That's probably where he mounted them.
Stan
[comes down the stairs and approaches the crew] Uh, excuse me.
Auxiliary
[turns to face him] Oh. Hello, my son.
Stan
What are you doing?
Auxiliary
What are we doing about what?
Stan
Well, I mean, it looks like you're scrubbing and bleaching our tables and chairs.
Auxiliary
Mmm mmm, that's not what's going on. Your local priest was never here, actually.
Stan
Yeah he was. I played with him.
Auxiliary
Oh, you did! [whispers loudly to the priest behind him] Better get the Kumby. [the priest walks off]
Stan
What's a Kumby?
Auxiliary
We're just here to cleanse your spirit, my child.
Priest
[returns with an odd tool] Praise be to Christ. [the Kumby looks like a portable wet/dry vacuum cleaner worn like a backpack. The priest uses it to wipe Stan down]
KidZone Roller Rink, day. The kids sing "Happy Birthday" to Clyde. Clyde blows out the candles. In the background "More Bounce To The Ounce" plays
Boys
Yaaay!
Fr. Maxi
And now let us pray.
Boys
Awww.
Fr. Maxi
Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts. which we are about to receive.
Clyde
Kyle, will you do something please?!
Fr. Maxi
[uoting Psalm 78:26] He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens...
Kyle
Why me?
Cartman
[gritting his teeth] Kyle!
Fr. Maxi
...through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Kyle
[walks up to Butters] Uh, Butters, can I talk to you really fast?
Butters
Wow! Sure, Kyle. Be right back, Father. [follows Kyle away]
Fr. Maxi
All right, my child.
A snack room nearby. Kyle waits for Butters there, and Butters walks in
Butters
Huh-what's up?
Kyle
Butters, you know, you can just bring your priest with you everywhere. I mean, sometimes the guys just wanna do stuff and not have a priest around.
Butters
What are you saying, Kyle?
Kyle
I'm saying it's just kind of awkward, Butters. [Fr. Maxi goes to look for these two boys and just happens to walk by the snack room. He stops just short of the doorway and listens] He's bumming everybody out. Nobody wants to hear about Jesus at a birthday party.
Butters
Well, of course, you don't.
Kyle
It's not just me. It's everyone, Butters. He can try all he wants, but he just doesn't belong here. [Maxi's face drops, then he walks away quietly]
Butters
Well I'm sorry for tryin' to help out somebody who didn't have anywhere else to turn. We'll both just leave. I thought you were better than that, Kyle. [walks out]
KidZone Roller Rink, outside. A van arrives carrying the cleanup crew. The song they're listening to is "Faith In Christ," which played earlier. A new song starts as the cleanup crew fans out across the rink
Auxiliary
All right, clean and scrub everything. I want it spotless! Get any evidence the priest might have left behind.
Assistant
There's something over here, [tastes the frosting on Clyde's slice of cake] but I can't tell if it's cum or frosting.
Auxiliary
It's an 8-year-old's birthday party. Of course, it's cum. Get the Kumby!
Priest
[arrives with the Kumby and wipes Clyde down] Praise be to Christ.
Auxiliary
[approaches Cartman and wipes him down with a cloth. Cartman panics a bit] Hello, young man. We're looking for your town priest. Was he here?
Cartman
Yeah, but he left with Butters.
Auxiliary
Tell me about this Butters.
Cartman
Allright, that does it! [the priest is now wiping down his back] Get out of my birthday party or else I'm gonna call the police! [the priest turns the Kumby off and stands up]
Twin Pines strip mall, day. Butters wanders the parking lot looking for Fr. Maxi.
Butters
Father! Father? Has anybody seen my priest? Father, where'd you go? [Maxi is sitting by a Dumpster and raises his head when he hears Butters approaching. Butters then sees him] There you are! I've been looking everywhere.
Fr. Maxi
Just leave me alone.
Butters
But you're missin' the party!
Fr. Maxi
Look, your friends are right, okay? I don't belong there. I, I don't belong anywhere. [gets up and walks away]
Butters
[follows Maxi through the parking lot] But, they just don't understand you like I do.
Fr. Maxi
Stop defending me! There are things you don't know!
Butters
But it's not your fault.
Fr. Maxi
Yes it is! It is my fault!
Butters
Why?!
Fr. Maxi
[turns around and faces Butters] Because I knew, all right?! I knew! Years ago, when bad things started coming out about the Catholic Church, I went to the Vatican and ... I found out that the problem was worse than anyone even thought. I thought I could help fix it, so, I kept my mouth shut. I thought there was cancer in the Church that we could get rid of. But the Church is cancer. It's not about a few bad apples. There are only a few good apples, and I'm clearly not one of them. So just stay away from me!
Butters
But... I thought we were pals.
Fr. Maxi
You thought wrong. [turns around and walks away. Butters shrinks a little in worry]
The neighborhood, evening. Butters walks down the street with his head down. A vehicle comes up behind him - it's the cleanup crew's van. The auxiliary bishop looks out the window and gets Butters' attention
Auxiliary
Hey. Hey there. What's the matter, my child? Did you know that Jesus loves you?
Butters
Sometimes I wonder.
Auxiliary
"And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me." [Galatians 2:20. He dangles a candy bar in front of Butters.] Want a Three Musketeers?
Butters
...No thanks.
Auxiliary
you like camping trips? You wanna go camping?
Butters
No.
Auxiliary
I got a bunny in the back. You wanna see the bunny?
Butters
[perks up] Well, okay! [the bishop takes him to the back and opens the doors. Butters frowns] Stan?
Stan
I have no idea what's going on.
Clyde
Worst birthday ever! [the priests toss Butters in to join Stan and Clyde, then slam the doors shut]
The Marsh house. Randy watches TV, but doesn't see anything he likes.
Randy
Boring [click] Dumb. [click] Stupid. [click] Good, but dated in its view of gender norms. [The doorbell rings and he slumps a bit] Wugh. [gets up and answers it. Fr. Maxi is at the door]
Fr. Maxi
Hello, Mr. Marsh.
Randy
Father! [turns around, dancing] Hey, hey Sharon, it's Father!
Fr. Maxi
M, Mr. Marsh-
Randy
He's back!
Fr. Maxi
-please.
Randy
Hey, Father's back!
Fr. Maxi
I'm just going around trying to locate little Butters Stotch. I thought he might be here playing a board game with your son?
Randy
Oh uh, no. I haven't seen, Butters. Or Stan. But Father, please, we all need church.
Fr. Maxi
I'm sorry, but I have to keep looking. [turns around and leaves] I said some terrible things.
Randy
Please, Father, we're all lost, and the cleanup crew hasn't helped at all.
Fr. Maxi
[stops and turns around] What cleanup crew?
The forest, night. Stan, Clyde, and Butters have been stipped and tied up, but have enough freedom to roast marshmallows. Wolves and owls are heard. The priests hide behind a bush nearby
Auxiliary
Any sign of him?
Assistant
No, but this should draw him out. The cute one says it's where he and the priest first got together.
Auxiliary
All right, when the priest gets here, we'll take care of him and then eradicate this place of any evidence.
Priest
Should I bring out the Kumby?
Auxiliary
No, this is gonna be a bigger job than that. Bring out... the Kumboni. [moments later, the priest drives up in a Kumboni]
The Stotch house, day. Stephen and Linda are sitting on the sofa watching TV. The phone rings and Stephen answers it.
Stephen
Hey Randy, what's up?
Randy
[driving] Stephen! Stephen, listen! The boys are missing! Fr. Maxi thinks they've been taken by the other priests!
Stephen
[jumps up from the sofa and walks away from it] Taken by priests?? Should we call the police or buy some condoms? [smiles]
Randy
[laughs] Okay. Okay-okay, that was good. [mood change] But seriously, we have to find these guys! The boys are in danger!
Stephen
But where would priests go this late at night?
Linda
To a midnight sale at Boys 'R' Us?
Randy
What-what'd she say?
Stephen
She said, "To a midnight sale at Boys 'R' Us."
Randy
Can, can I post that?
Stephen
Sure, she doesn't care.
Fr. Maxi
[grabs the phone from Randy] Give me that! Mr. Stotch, have you heard from Butters at all?!
Stephen
Well yeah, we got a really weird text from him saying not to worry, he needed to do some camping.
Fr. Maxi
[puts down the phone] Oh my Lord. I know where to go. And when we get there... I'll need to go in alone.
Randy
Yeah I'll bet. [snickers]
The forest clearing. The assistant looks around
Assistant
He's not showing up.
Auxiliary
Try the priest call. [the assistant pulls out a calling device similar to a duck call and blows into it]
Kid's voice
I love Jeeesus! I love Jeeesus!
Assistant
[turns around] I don't think he's coming.
Auxiliary
Oh he's coming all right. Just not here. Let's start packing up. You. [points at the priest] Get on the Kumboni and eradicate this place along with everything in it.
Priest
Yes, your Holiness.
Fr. Maxi
Wait! [arrives at the clearing]
Butters
Father.
Fr. Maxi
You wanted to find me? Well, here I am. I know why you're here. The Church can't have... someone like me going around making it look bad. So go ahead. [turns away] Do it. Just get it over with.
Butters
What?? No!
Auxiliary
You think we searched all over town and set up this trap to kill you? We're Catholics! We're here to give you what you deserve! A full transfer to the beautiful Maldive Islands. Luxury airfare and beach house included! [theh other two priests applaued]
Fr. Maxi
A transfer?
Auxiliary
The Church took care of everything, just like it always has from the beginning. "Thank you for cleaning up all my cum."
Fr. Maxi
I can just... go? I can start over in the Maldives?
Auxiliary
No one will make fun of you there. They can't even speak English. And don't worry, there'll be plenty of priests to take your place here. Look, I know it's a big change, but... you know what you have to do.
Fr. Maxi
Yes, I do. I don't think I have any other choice.
Butters
No. He can't.
Auxiliary
Well, our work here is done! Praise be to Christ, guys. It certainly was a tough one, but I think we got everything cleaned up and- [the Kumboni starts up and smashes through some trees. Fr. Maxi is driving it right at the priests.] Aaaaugh!
Assistant
The Kumboni! Aaah! [Maxi mows him down and kills him] Aaaaagh! Aah!
Priest
Aaaaugh! Aaaaugh! [Maxi mows him down and kills him]
Auxiliary
[Maxi is hot on his trail] No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. [Maxi mows him down, killing him. Moments later, Maxi stops the engine and walks up to the boys]
Butters
Father, you did it!
Fr. Maxi
I'm so sorry, my child. I never meant to say we weren't pals.
Butters
Does that mean you're gonna stay?
Fr. Maxi
Of course. Now I have purpose, and I have meaning. My job here is to protect you. All of you.
The church, Sunday morning. The doors open and Fr. Maxi is back in his robes looking at the congregants
Fr. Maxi
The Lord be with you.
Congregants
And with your spirit. [they go in]
After the Gospel, Fr. Maxi launches into his sermon
Fr. Maxi
Today I'd like to talk on the subject of penance. The penitent... have deep remorse, but for true penance, we must be humble enough to admit that the Lord's forgiveness is undeserved.
Randy
Kind of like how getting raped by a Catholic priest is undeserved. [all laugh]
Fr. Maxi
In Job 42:6 we read "Therefore, I reprehend myself and do penance in dust and ashes"
Townsman 1
And in choir boys' butts and asses. [all laugh]
Fr. Maxi
So we are not to punish ourselves, but instead, we are to make ourselves passionate.
Townsman 5
Like a Catholic priest at a Chuck E. Cheese. [all laugh]
Randy
Oh God, it's good to have my faith back!
Fr. Maxi
Passionate to understand all that Christ sacrificed, and how hard it truly was.
Woman 4
How hard what truly was? [all laugh]
#cancelsouthpark
禁断之系 结束
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