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“评论家专属”(又名“鼻屎和精液”)是第十九季美食评论家”中出现的歌曲。

背景

当餐馆老板们开始意识到美食评论家的意见毫无意义,因为他们每个人都认为自己应该是头儿时,他们决定不再尊重美食评论家。每当一个美食评论家走进他们的餐厅时,厨师们都会趁他们不注意对他们的食物做一些恶心可怕的事情,比如在食物上涂上他们的鼻屎,在“美食评论家”的结尾展现所有被玷污食物的蒙太奇时,这首歌被播放。

歌词

So you're one of the yelpers special blessed,
You demand a restaurants' very best.
Well they're gonna treat you special,
I'm telling you chum.
Now get yourself ready for some boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, that's called the Yelper special.
Boogers and cum, say what's that on your pretzel?
Your online critiques are real useful to some,
Now have a good time eating boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, someone farted on your salad?
Boogers and cum, but your decor critiques are valid.
You think you're special like you're A-number one,
Well, there's a whole lot of special in boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, how 'bout some feces with your flounder?
Boogers and cum, you like that queefy quarter pounder?
[yelper] What's that spice that feels tangy on my tongue?
[waiter] Oh, that's the yuzu pepper, (walks away and mutters to himself) along with some boogers and cum.

[Davíd] Here you are, sir.
[Cartman] Thank you, David, that's good service.
[Davíd] I will bring you food every day, my friend.
[Cartman] Mmm, is that a Jalapeño cream sauce?
[Davíd] Yes, my father made it just for you.
[Cartman] Hmm, it's tart, but savory.

Boogers and cum, being a food critic's easy.
Boogers and cum, oh, you feel a little queasy?
Do you need a diagnosis? Well, the doctor's got one.
[doctor] Your stomach seems to be filled with boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, piss in your potatoes.
Boogers and cum, some guys' shit on your tomatoes.
Alright, fancy food critics, looks like you've won,
Now please enjoy all the booo-hooo-geeers... booo-hooo-geeers... annnd cuuummm!

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