赫伯特·加里森

赫伯特·加里森
角色信息
英文原名	Herbert Garrison
台灣譯名	葛屁老師
香港譯名	史Sir
化身或別稱	珍妮特·加里森（Janet Garrison） 巨型灌腸器
性別	男（第1-8季，12季至今） 女（9-12季）
頭髮	金色(原先為灰色)
年齡	41
職業	現任美國總統（20季至今） 前四年級教師（7-19季） 前幼兒園教師（4-6季） 前三年級教師（1-3季）
信仰	羅馬天主教（曾信仰過無神論）
配音	特雷·帕克
台灣配音	李香生
親屬
父親	老加里森先生
母親	老加里森太太
出場
首次出場	卡特曼的肛門探針

赫伯特·加里森，在變性後也叫珍妮特·加里森，是美利堅合眾國第45任即現任總統，他於2017年1月20日宣誓就職。他曾是南方公園小學的四年級教師，但後來參加了總統競選。他登場於第一季的"卡特曼的肛門探針"中並由特雷·帕克配音。

加里森在前8季都是男性，但在"加里森老師變性記"中變成女性，隨後在"卡特曼老師"中又通過基因技術重新變回男性。

他在第十九季宣佈參加總統競選並最終獲得了共和黨提名。在第二十季中他成功當選為美國總統。

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背景

赫伯特·加里森從小在阿肯色州長大而許多問題也在這一階段萌芽。年輕的加里森已經顯示出了他的同性戀傾向——他認為父親不愛他因為父親從未強姦過自己。加里森懂得許多關於性侵兒童的知識，還視之為對孩子們的愛而非騷擾犯罪。他曾在大學裏獲得過機械工程學位。但不知何時及為何，缺乏相關學科知識的他成為了南方公園小學的教師而不是一位工程師。

他曾因欲圖強姦想與大人交朋友的埃里克·卡特曼而被逮捕。他在釋放後被學校開除了，於是便投入到了小說創作中。在遭受自己的作品被定性為「同性戀小說」的刺激下，加里森躲進了山頂的洞穴中並再也不出來了。當喬克森迪克老師找到他來請教管理課堂的方法時，加里森意識到自己必須承認自己是同性戀的事實。隨後他決定回到學校並成為了幼兒園老師。

在喬克森迪克老師去世後，加里森晉升為四年級教師並重新接管了原來的班級，與此同時他開始與一個叫奴隸先生的男人交往。在"亡命寬容營"中，加里森利用奴隸先生來試圖讓自己因「同性戀」而被開除，這樣他就能控告學校賠償他一百萬美元。但事與願違，他們最後因歧視自己的性取向而被送到了寬容營。在"加里森老師變性記"中，加里森認為自己並不是同性戀而是一個被困在男人身體裏的女人，因此他通過變性手術成為了女人並改名為「珍妮特·加里森」。這種行為也使只喜歡與男人做愛的奴隸先生和她分手了。而加里森也成為了恐同者並恢復了他對同性戀的最初觀念。加里森對自己的性生活十分不檢點，她聲稱曾讓一群卡車司機在卡車裏「做」她。

在她意識到自己永遠不會有經期也無法懷孕時，加里森意識到了她並不是真正意義上的女人，但現在想重置變性手術帶來的改變也為時已晚，而她也接受了自己的身份。當她聽說了奴隸先生和大基佬阿爾打算結婚時，她嘗試通過讓斯坦·馬什和凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基同時照顧一顆蛋的方式來證明同性戀是不負責任的父母，並不具有照顧和養育後代的能力。他認為這顆蛋一定會碎，並在發覺二人並沒有打碎它之後，想辦法將其毀掉。這顆蛋在結局時依舊完好無損，這使得奴隸先生和大基佬阿爾的婚姻得以完成。加里森在「無神論的未來·一」中拒絕接受並教述進化論，學校高層僱傭了理查德·道金斯取代了他的位置。兩名教師之間衝突頻發，但道金斯和她展開了一段戀人關係，並說服了加里森放棄自己的宗教信仰，和他一樣成為一名無神論者。道金對無神論的觀點和加里森的「主張聲明」結合起來，正常來講會最終導致全世界接受無神論的觀點。但這條時間線在「無神論的未來·十二」中因為埃里克·卡特曼的干預（對道金斯揭露了加里森是個變性人的事實）改變，導致兩人關係破裂，未來格局也因此發生變化。

加里森在進入「蕾絲波」女同酒吧後性取向再次發生變化，並最終和另一名女同「艾莉森」發生了關係。她很快適應了自己女同的性取向，並開始捍衛女同權利和蕾絲波酒吧，也是在這裏她再次成為了同性戀。在「卡特曼老師」中，她在看完奧普拉·溫弗莉的電視節目後發覺自己的變性手術是個嚴重錯誤。她花費重金在一隻小白鼠身上重新培植了自己的陰莖，並在移植後變回了男人。他的性取向在之後並不明朗，因為他也在變性時和女性發生過關係。在「娘炮」中，卡特曼要求使用女廁，因為他聲稱自己是變性人（卡特曼管自己叫做「變性淫」），加里森因為身為變性人，勸誡維多利亞校長暫時同意卡特曼的提議，以避免可能被挑大的醜聞。

在「我的國家在何處？」中，他開始反對國家中的非法加拿大移民，這導致他被南方公園小學中開除。他在之後展開了「把他們全都操死」運動，並且嘗試在兩國之間建造城牆以控制邊境。但他發現了加拿大總統也在做同樣的事來阻擋美國人。他潛入進加拿大，並且真正意義上的「操死」加拿大的總統，這使得反向移民潮出現，大部分加拿大移民也回到了自己的國家。他隨後宣佈了自己將會參與總統競選。在「軟文」中，他在辯論會上聲稱應該把所有入境的利比亞難民全部操死，因為他認為這些難民都是恐怖組織的成員。同時跟希拉里·克林頓比起來，他顯然擁有更多的支持者。他在之後與嘉芙蓮·詹納和維多利亞校長一起回到了南方公園，以組織廣告的陰謀。

在第二十季中，加里森依舊在競選總統中遙遙領先，但發現自己並沒有任何對自己總統日程的實質規劃，他嘗試通過在演奏國旗時坐立而不起立的方式嘗試糟蹋自己的選票，但重啟後的國歌允許美國公民坐立，站立，甚至跪立。他又嘗試在公共場合做出對女性有性別歧視的發言和立場，這導致一群憤怒的選民向他索要答案，並對他展開追殺。當他發現自己在不停獲得支持的原因是因為回憶莓時，他嘗試和蘭迪·馬什一起摧毀它們，但並沒成功。相反的，在自己吃下一顆回憶莓後，他繼續參加競選並勝出。

班級

作為一名三年級和四年級的教師，赫伯特·加里森是一名非常不稱職的老師。他的學生更願意彼此聊閒，而不是聽他上課。雖然他偶爾也因此懲罰學生，比方說他在「瘋狂俱樂部」中強迫斯坦·馬什在全班面前朗讀貝蓓·斯蒂文斯傳給他的尷尬私密紙條。但他的學生似乎並不吸取教訓，並不停重複錯誤。

值得注意的是，他的學生似乎也對他的情況毫不關心。在「小矮人」中，他宣佈自學校正在考慮炒他的魷魚因為他並不教述實時事件，但他的學生不為所動。在「隆鼻手術」中，凱爾·布羅夫洛夫斯基甚至在代課老師要求學生要像尊敬主任老師一樣尊敬她時，告訴她學生們對加里森沒有絲毫尊敬。

即使如此，斯坦，凱爾，和溫蒂依舊在「要你肥4000」中去精神中心探望了他，並告訴加里森他們希望他早日康復並回到學校繼續授業。

外觀

加里森穿着深綠色的褲子和綠色的夾克、黑色的鞋子。他同時也戴着一副黑框眼鏡。他的頭頂只有兩側有灰色的頭髮，而中間大部分都已經謝頂了。

作為女人時，她將原來的夾克裁剪成背心，並穿着更短的褲子與新的白鞋子。她還戴了耳環還塗了口紅，但她的髮型沒有變化。

在重新成為男人後，加里森的服裝與原來的差不多，唯一值得注意的是他多加了一條腰帶而且衣領有些許變化。

加里森的頭髮是灰色的，從"要你肥4000"中就可以知道他從小時候開始就是這樣。但在"卡特曼的蕩婦媽"中他青年時的頭髮卻變成了棕色，這或許是因為他為了參加派對故意染成的。

在第二十季中，自從他成為共和黨總統候選人後，加里森便有了人造的棕黃色皮膚和類似當勞·特朗普的髮型。作為美國總統時，加里森穿着深藍色西服和紅領帶。在「快放下它」中可以看到加里森已經不戴他的眼鏡了。

個性

赫伯特·加里森有着許多心理問題並且多次在劇中表現出來。他最突出的問題是用不同玩偶表現出的多重人格分裂。在早期，當加里森還在教三年級時，他一直拿着一個叫帽子先生的玩偶。加里森用它來展示自己的第二種極端的人格以及掩蓋內心的矛盾。其中最主要的矛盾是他不承認但實際上又是同性戀的事實。雖然有許多證據來表明加里森是一個同性戀，但他卻對此十分牴觸並堅持認為自己是直男。相反地他一直強調帽子先生才是同性戀。加里森還表現出對同性戀者的厭惡並認為他們不配為人。他曾經對斯坦說：「基佬們都是惡魔，他們的心裏充滿着的不是像你我一般的血，而是泔水裏的油！」

加里森還是一個種族主義者，他的這一特點在"聖誕便便漢基先生"中首次表現出來：他建議將墨西哥人排除出聖誕節。這在"加拿大的聖誕節"中再次出現，市長憤怒地回答道：「加里森先生，每年你都提出這樣的建議但我們每年的答覆都是不行！」。在"鄰居來也"中，當富有的黑人們移居到了南方公園時，加里森集結了鎮上的男人們想要趕他們走。加里森等人披上白床單裝扮成「幽靈」來恐嚇黑人們並在他們的房子前豎立起了燃燒的十字架，這樣的標誌寓意着：「是時候該滾了！」（Time to Leave）。當黑人們被驅逐後，加里森建議將他們遺留的豪宅賣掉大賺一筆，但其他人並沒有同意。這時加里森說道：「至少我們趕走那些可惡的黑-（Nig-）」（此時畫面被切換），這充分暴露出了他的原始動機。加里森也是三K黨成員，但他說只有帽子先生才是，這有反映了他用玩偶來掩蓋自己內心的矛盾。儘管如此，加里森卻和學校里的黑人員工大廚相處得很好，她甚至在大廚的葬禮上掩面哭泣。

加里森是一個不稱職的老師，他總是教學生們一些沒用的東西，比如為什麼楚比·切克會離開披頭四，還曾用整整一周的時間在班上放映《巴納比·瓊斯》的錄像帶。他還教過學生們一些過於超前的知識，例如斯大林和共產主義。只有在一些場合（尤其是在他變性後），加里森才會表現得像一個正常老師並教學生們一些課堂內的知識。此外他還經常辱罵回答錯問題的學生。事實上加里森之所以教授更多的流行文化知識，是因為他不懂得或根本不理睬學校的課程安排。

在加里森放棄帽子先生後，他的性格開始變得好鬥激進，經常將事情推向一個極端。在出櫃後，他開始公然對奴隸先生實施一些極其猥瑣的性行為，當然這大多是由於他想被學校開除以獲得賠償。然而在變成女人後，她沉迷於宣揚自己有多么女人味並做了許多粗鄙之事，例如大聲向其他女人喊道月經是多麼美妙的事。之後加里森與理查德·道金斯建立起了短暫的關係。她放棄了原先的信仰因為道金斯發現了她的「迷人之處」，而她也從對無神論的排斥到現在的狂熱。同樣地當她與一個女人發生性行為後，她便決定成為一個女同性戀。隨後加里森與當地女同酒吧里的女人都做了愛並沉迷於這種隨意的性行為。這些極端的轉變和對信仰的態度再加上偏激的舉動，使得加里森對所有不同意他觀點的人都十分排斥。事實上，這些都說明了加里森是一個自戀狂。

在早期劇集中有暗示加里森可能與卡特曼的寵物豬「小蓬蓬」發生過性行為，這意味着他還享受獸交。此外在"史前怪物"中，加里森建議說將鴨嘴怪交給他餵養，但大家卻說加里森有一次與自家的鴿子發生過性行為。然而加里森卻說這個鴿子是一個蕩婦並讓沒有與鳥做過愛的人舉手，結果所以人都舉起了手。

由於加里森和男人、女人都交往過，所以很難判斷他是否還是個同性戀。也許最準確的回答應該是大廚在"亡命寬容營"中說：加里森與同性戀有很大的區別，他實際上就是一個變態。此外加里森還是一個戀童癖者，因為他在"北美戀童癖協會"中試圖與小男孩發生不正當關係。

自從在第十二季變回男人以後，加里森的行為比以前正常了許多，再也沒有表現出變態的性行為、無恥暴躁的性格以及精神不正常現象。相反地，他或多或少表現得像一個合格而且正常的老師（雖然在 "超歡樂時光"中他打算獻出學生當人質，在"選舉熱潮"中擔心奧巴馬當選後世界就要毀滅了）。

但在第十九季的「我的國家在何處？」中他古怪的性格再一次展現了出來：他因為辱罵學校里的加拿大移民而被學校解僱。加里森通過「把他們全操死」的口號展開了對加拿大的政治鬥爭。在操死加拿大總統後，他決定參加總統競選，並讓嘉芙蓮·詹納作為他的競選夥伴因為他們都是「變性人」。

帽子先生，樹枝先生，和奴隸先生

在劇集中，加里森有過三名「教師助理」。其中的第一個是帽子先生。加里森通過這個手偶表達自己平時不敢表露出的內心世界，比如他是一名男同性戀。他經常使用帽子先生來說出自己從一開始就不敢直說的話。作為他的內心從不承認的一部分，赫伯特·加里森聲稱帽子先生是一名男同性戀，同時是一名種族歧視者。但同時，帽子先生可以在加里森不在場時自主行動，這讓很多人產生疑問，帽子先生是不是真的有了自己的意識。比如說帽子先生曾駕車撞穿監獄牆，劫獄救出加里森和大廚，在這個過程中，手偶幾次眨眼並轉動眼球。但他和加里森對於是否參加KKK集會時，加里森拒絕，隨後帽子先生自己消失了。可以確認的是，加里森自從小時候就帶着帽子先生了。

File:Herbert Garrison.png

Mr. Garrison with Mr. Hat

加里森在之後使用樹枝先生來代替帽子先生的職位。樹枝先生是一個有和帽子先生完全相同的樹枝，他有和帽子先生一樣的聲音直到他的最後一集，在這一集中他的英語有法語口音（但考慮到他和加里森的對話本身有着發展浪漫關係的意圖，這可能只是一個單純的玩笑）。他的班級討厭樹枝先生並且希望加里森讓帽子先生回來。但他堅持帽子先生不會回來了。在「援助大廚」中，樹枝先生總是會發生不幸的意外。加里森隨後發現他們都被帽子先生詛咒了，後者希望他帶它回來。在這一集結尾，樹枝先生幫助加里森意識到帽子先生才是他的最佳選擇，之後便被遺棄。在那之後樹枝先生再也沒出現過。。

在之後的劇集「200」中，加里森被埃里克·卡特曼和他的手部圖繪米奇·康納脅迫，後兩者逼他把帽子先生再次帶了出來，這是為了揭露埃里克·卡特曼的生父身份（曾被認為和卡特曼的母親是同一人）。加里森在開始時就對這個再次使用手偶的舉動表達出了厭惡，並稱自己已經不需要它了。但是米奇·康納卻在同卡特曼和加里森的三人對話進行時和帽子先生打起了招呼，宣稱兩人是老朋友和戰友關係。加里森似乎很不願意再次和帽子先生說話，就好像手偶是活着的一樣。

犯罪記錄

Mr. Garrison has committed numerous misdemeanors and felonies throughout the series.

赫伯特·加里森在劇集中犯下了多許民事和刑事罪行

• 暴力侵犯：在「女同酒吧」中，她攻擊了被派到「蕾絲波」酒吧交涉的波斯代表，並在此過程中踢中了對方的鼠蹊部（位於大腿內側上方，很接近生殖器）。
• 謀殺未遂：在「要你肥4000」中，他嘗試在凱茜·李·吉福德訪問南方公園時殺死她，作為她在兒時電視表演秀上羞辱他的報復。即使斯坦·馬什和溫蒂·泰斯塔伯格嘗試勸說並使他冷靜下來，他依舊對凱茜開槍，但卻意外擊中了肯尼·麥考密克。
• 越獄：在「援助大廚」中，他和大廚一起在帽子先生摧毀牆體之後從巴布雷迪警官的牢房中出逃。
• 綁架/非法拘禁：在「廣告的真相」中，他和維多利亞校長及嘉芙蓮·珍妮弗一起綁架並審問蘭迪·馬什，嘗試從後者嘴中查出「全食超市」，「鎮城區」，和「政確德爾塔聯誼會」在他們離開後出現的原因。
• 謀殺：在「要你肥4000」中，他在暗殺凱茜·李·吉福德時意外殺死了肯尼·麥考密克。
• 縱火：在「沃爾瑪來襲」中，他和其他人一起放火燒毀了兩座商鋪，沃爾瑪超市和吉姆藥房
• 姦殺：在「我的國家在何處？」中，他操死了加拿大總理。
• 嘗試與兒童發生關係/戀童癖：在「北美戀童癖協會」中，他嘗試在網上聯絡兒童並嘗試和他們發生關係。當在碼頭意外發現自己的約會對象是埃里克·卡特曼時，他被FBI逮捕，並因此暫時丟了工作。
• （可能的）人獸交：在「象豬交配」和「史前怪物」中，他被暗指和卡特曼的寵物豬以及一隻鴿子發生過性關係。

人物關係

Mr. Garrison has had both male and female relationships before, during and after his sex change, because of this it's unclear what his sexuality is, it is likely that he is bisexual or pansexual.

Mr. Slave

Mr. Garrison starting dating Mr. Slave in "[Death Camp of Tolerance|The Death Camp of Tolerance]", this relationship lasted until his sex change operation. They had a falling out in "[That Egg!|Follow That Egg!]", where Mr. (at the time, Ms.) Garrison tried to sabotage Mr. Slave's and [Gay Al|Big Gay Al]'s wedding. Its hinted in "[Funny|Not Funny]" that Garrison might still have some feelings for Slave.

Richard Dawkins

Richard Dawkins was Ms. Garrison's first boyfriend since the sex change operation. This relationship was formed in "[God Go|Go God Go]" when Richard asks her on a date, He also successfully "converted" her to Atheism though this was probably just said because she was afraid to lose the first man who has found her attractive, in the future they get married and rid the world of religion, however thanks to [Cartman|Eric Cartman] who uses the [Prank Time Phone|time phone in] "[God Go XII|Go God Go XII]" to contact Mr. Garrison he reveals to Richard the truth about the sex change operation and doing so proceeds Richard to break up with her and runs out of the house in disgust.

Alison

Allison was one of the women who Ms. Garrison experimented with in "[[2]]" and officially made her a lesbian, it is unclear if they were dating or just friends with benefits, however after the events of the episode it may be clear that they never spoke again.

冷知識

• Garrison's sexual orientation remains ambiguous since his multiple sex-change operations. Forming relationships with both men and women, he is shown having a preference for both sexes.
• He may or may not have had sexual intercourse with [Stotch|Stephen Stotch], as both of them were revealed to be regular visitors to [White Swallow|The White Swallow] bathhouse in "[Very Own Episode|Butters' Very Own Episode]", however this could have been where he met [Slave|Mr. Slave].
• He is probably fond of bestiality, as it was implied in "[Elephant Makes Love to a Pig|An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig]" and "[[3]]", that he has had sex with a pigeon and Cartman's pet pig.
• Mr. Garrison appears to be quite fond of [McCormick|Kenny], as in the episode "[Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]" he is seen trying to bring food to Kenny in the hospital but gets arrested.
• [Hat|Mr. Hat] is known to be a racist, member of KKK, in "[Goes Nanners|Chef Goes Nanners]" and Mr. Garrison stays out of the KKK and apologizes to an irate [[4]] for Mr. Hat's involvement. However, in "[Comes the Neighborhood|Here Comes the Neighborhood]" Garrison seems to be racist as well. He is also spotted during town

  File:1106 battle-cry.jpg

  Ms. Garrison leading the riot in "[[1]]".

  meetings suggesting to get rid of all the Mexicans as shown in "[Hankey, the Christmas Poo|Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo]" and "[Christmas in Canada|It's Christmas in Canada]".
• When Mr. Garrison shows off his new boobs in "[Garrison's Fancy New Vagina|Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina]", while grotesque looking, they are more or less equal in shape and size. However in "[God Go|Go God Go]", when his reveals them again, they are even more misshapen, with one being notably smaller than the other. This may be due to one of them being damaged in "[Days Before the Day After Tomorrow|Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow]".
• Mr. Garrison carries a gun with him to class, it is unknown why and it also unknown why he didn't use it when his whole class was held hostage in Pioneer Village in "[Fun Time|Super Fun Time]", although it could have been confiscated by the staff at school, the robbers, or he may have simply forgot to bring it.
• Despite his sex-change and several seasons as a woman, Garrison was often addressed as "Mr." rather than "Mrs." by many of the students and even his colleagues in class.
• Mr. Garrison is also one of only two teachers at South Park Elementary (the other being [Mackey|Mr. Mackey]) who have been fired from the school, but later returned.
• In the episode "[Hair Tampons|Cherokee Hair Tampons]", his name that appears on the cover of his best-selling book is Ethan P. Garrison, a possible pen-name.
• Mr. Garrison seems to get some of his more bizarre world views from his mother. When he returns home

  

  World Wide Recorder Concert]"

  in "[Wide Recorder Concert|World Wide Recorder Concert]", his mother encourages his father to molest him (both she and her son see it as a sign of love) and is distraught upon hearing from Garrison that her husband never molested Garrison as a child. Mr. Garrison also seems to have inherited his mother's appearance more than his father's.
• Before being a teacher, he was going to be an engineer. He studied mechanical engineering at university and in "[Wide Recorder Concert|World Wide Recorder Concert]" his father's gas station sign reads "Garrison and Son". How he came to leave his father's business and teach in Colorado has not yet been revealed. This also implies that he is an only child.
• Mr. Garrison invented [[5]], a high speed vehicle that he built to put airplane companies out of business, but his business was shut down by the government due to airports losing money.
• It is revealed in "[Entity|The Entity]" that Mr. Garrison is left handed.
• His relationship with Mr. Hat was very similar to The Ventriloquist and Scarface from the Batman series. The reason is that they both had a puppet that they claim to have a mind of its own, they both wear glasses, and they forced the owners to kill people.
• Even outside of school, he is still referred to by his teacher name, "Mr. Garrison", rather than his first name "Herbert".

出場劇集

• "[Gets an Anal Probe|Cartman Gets an Anal Probe]"- Debut appearance. Denies Kyle's request to leave the classroom.
• "[Gain 4000|Weight Gain 4000]" - Attempts to kill [Lee Gifford|Kathie Lee Gifford] because he lost to her in a school talent show as a child.
• "[[6]]"
• "[Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride|Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride]"
• "[Elephant Makes Love to a Pig|An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig]" - Gives his class science projects and is angry at [[7]] when his clone beats him. Later, he is seen talking to the Marsh parents.
• "[[8]]" - Protests for Terrance and Phillip to be taken off the air and gets explosive diarrhea from [McCormick|Kenny].
• "[[9]]"
• "[Marvin|Starvin' Marvin]" - Wonders how [Boys|the boys] got an African boy. 
• "[Hankey, The Christmas Poo|Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo]" - Suggests that the town get rid of all the Mexicans, which [McDaniels|Mayor McDaniels] denies.
• "[[10]]" - At first bets his money on [[11]], but changes it to [[12]] when he finds out that Jesus weighs far more than Satan.
• "[Rhinoplasty|Tom's Rhinoplasty]" - Quits his job as a teacher to get a nose job.
• "[[13]]" - Sleeps on his class' field trip.
• "[Mom is a Dirty Slut|Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut]" - One of [Cartman|Eric Cartman]'s potential fathers and admits to making love to [Cartman|Liane Cartman] at the drunken barn dance.
• "[Mom is Still a Dirty Slut|Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut]"
• "[[14]]" - Gives Cartman an F for his book report.
• "[Wee Wee|Ike's Wee Wee]" - Takes drugs Mr. Mackey hands out in class.
• "[Fetus Lady|Conjoined Fetus Lady]" (cameo)
• "[Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka|The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka]" - Gives the boys detention for Jimbo's story.
• "[on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)|City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)]" - Seen in the "Weight Gain 4000" flashback.
• "[Sucks|Summer Sucks]" - Upset about Mr. Hat's departure.
• "[Chocolate Salty Balls|Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls]"
• "[[15]]" - When everyone gets chickenpox, he asks them to write essays.
• "[Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods|Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods]" - Takes his class on a field trip.
• "[[16]]" - Sends Stan to [Mackey|Mr. Mackey]'s office for passing a note in class.
• "[Days|Cow Days]" - Complains about the rides at the carnival.
• "[Aid|Chef Aid]"
• "[[17]]" - Gives his class a report on current events and assigns them to groups.
• "[Shmainforest|Rainforest Shmainforest]" - Sends [Boys|The Boys] to Mr. Mackey's office for being rude to the [Gay With Kids|Getting Gay With Kids] choir.
• "[Combustion|Spontaneous Combustion]" - [Marsh|Randy Marsh] asks Mr Garrison to help him, but Mr Garrison claims that does not know him.
• "[Succubus|The Succubus]" - The Boys ask him for advice and goes to Chef wedding.
• "[[18]]" - Volunteers to take care of the Jakovasaur that [Boys|The Boys] found in the forest.
• "[Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut|South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut]"
• "[Harassment Panda|Sexual Harassment Panda]"
• "[Guys Naked in a Hot Tub|Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub]" - Seen at the meteor shower party.
• "[Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery|Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery]"
• "[[19]]" - Tells [McDaniels|Mayor McDaniels] that he cannot teach his class due to the Chinpokomon toys.
• "[on Monkey Fonics|Hooked on Monkey Fonics]" - Eric Cartman tries to answer questions, but Mr. Garrison denies him due to him never knowing the right answer.
• "[Marvin in Space|Starvin' Marvin in Space]" - Seen teaching class until the FBI comes in and removes the [Boys|The Boys].
• "[Red Badge of Gayness|The Red Badge of Gayness]" - Part of the civil; war reenactment.
• "[Hankey's Christmas Classics|Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics]" - Sings a song named [Fucking Christmas|Merry Fucking Christmas].
• "[You There God? It's Me, Jesus|Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus]" - Tells Jesus that he want to hear something new for the New Year.
• "[Wide Recorder Concert|World Wide Recorder Concert]" - Goes to visit his parents and questions his father as to why he did not sexually abuse him.
• "[2000|Timmy 2000]"
• "[Joins NAMBLA|Cartman Joins NAMBLA]" - Arrested after a sexual encounter with Cartman.
• "[Hair Tampons|Cherokee Hair Tampons]" - Advised by Mr. Mackey to write a novel after he loses his job as a teacher.
• "[Goes Nanners|Chef Goes Nanners]"
• "[the Handicapped Go to Hell?|Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?]"
• "[Grade|Fourth Grade]" - [Choksondik|Ms. Choksondik] goes to him for advice on how to teach his old students and later tries to get his job back as a third grade teacher, but instead becomes a kindergarten teacher.
• "[Keeper|Trapper Keeper]" - First seen as a kindergarten teacher.
• "[Keller! The Musical|Helen Keller! The Musical]" - Seen watching the play.
• "[Camp|Fat Camp]" - Seen at the meeting about Cartman's weight and states he is there because wanted to see the look on Cartman's face.
• "[Hits the Fan|It Hits the Fan]" - Talks to the kindergartners about the word "shit".
• "[Fight|Cripple Fight]" (cameo) - Seen in the crowd while Jimmy tells jokes.
• "[and Phillip: Behind the Blow|Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow]" - Seen watching Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.
• "[[20]]" - Tells Cartman that he should keep his money in the bank.
• "[Condom Use|Proper Condom Use]" - Teaches his kindergartner class sexual education.
• "[[21]]" - Seen taking a shower, when the military comes in to shoot his towel.
• "[to Eat with Your Butt|How to Eat with Your Butt]"
• "[Entity|The Entity]" - Designs a vehicle named [[22]] due to airline people being lazy.
• "[Comes the Neighborhood|Here Comes the Neighborhood]" - Works with other male adults in South Park to get rid of the rich people.
• "[Dies|Kenny Dies]" - Is the minister at Kenny's funeral.
• "[Very Own Episode|Butters' Very Own Episode]" (heard, but not seen) - He can be heard in the stem room.
• "[Has Aides|Jared Has Aides]" - Seen in the angry mob chasing [Fogle|Jared Fogle].
• "[New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer|The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer]" - Seen in [Bar and Cocktails|Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails], when the boys come in the bar to watch The Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer.
• "[Simpsons Already Did It|The Simpsons Already Did It]" - Ask Butters if he has seen Mr Hat and is later at Cartman's showing him the sea-people.
• "[Ladder to Heaven|A Ladder to Heaven]" - States that a ladder to heaven is "fucking stupid".
• "[Death Camp of Tolerance|The Death Camp of Tolerance]" - Tries to get fired for being gay, but is not successful. The principal later sends him and Mr. Slave to the "Death Camp of Tolerance".
• "[Sleigh Down|Red Sleigh Down]" - Seen in the crowd.
• "[Paper|Toilet Paper]" - Gets his student to do a report on the founding fathers.
• "[a Little Bit Country|I'm a Little Bit Country]" - Gives his class a report on the founding fathers.
• "[Butt and Pancake Head|Fat Butt and Pancake Head]" - Seen when Cartman is giving his speech, tells Butters to pay attention and goes outside to see [Lopez|Jennifer Lopez].
• "[Crime Stoppers|Lil' Crime Stoppers]"
• "[Man's Greed|Red Man's Greed]" - He along with the of the town is forced to move out of [Park (Location)|South Park (Location)] due the native Americans building their casino.
• "[Park is Gay!|South Park is Gay!]" - Upset about the metrosexual fed in South Park and goes to New York City to kill the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy people.
• "[Dawn|Grey Dawn]"
• "[About Mormons|All About Mormons]" - Introduces [Harrison|Gary Harrison] as a new member their his classroom.
• "[Out|Butt Out]" - Tells [Reiner|Rob Reiner] to butt out.
• "[Christmas in Canada|It's Christmas in Canada]" - Once again suggests to get rid of all the Mexicans.
• "[Times with Weapons|Good Times with Weapons]" - Angry about Eric Cartman walking nude in the stage.
• "[Got F'd in the A|You Got F'd in the A]"
• "[[23]]" (cameo) - Seen laughing at a video of Cartman dancing with a [Timberlake|Justin Timberlake] doll.
• "[Jeffersons|The Jeffersons]" (cameo)
• "[[24]]" - Teaches his class to future language.
• "[and Turd|Douche and Turd]" - Is the one who finds that the PETA members have been murdered.
• "[Wall-Mart This Way Comes|Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes]"
• "[[25]]" (In flashback) - Seen in the crowd, when [Claridge|Miss Claridge] is being carried into a ambulance.
• "[for Ratings|Quest for Ratings]" - Seen buying cough medicine with Mr. Slave.
• "[Spoiled Whore Video Playset|Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset]"
• "[Critter Christmas|Woodland Critter Christmas]" - Tells Cartman to stop telling his Christmas story due to it being anti-Semitic.
• "[Garrison's Fancy New Vagina|Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina]" - Becomes female in this episode.
• "[Hippie, Die|Die Hippie, Die]" - Waves goodbye to [Cartman|Eric Cartman], [Stotch|Linda Stotch], [Marsh|Randy Marsh] and [[26]], they leave to drill through hippies.
• "[[27]]"
• "[Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]" - Attempts to bring food to Kenny, but gets arrested for it.
• "[Day|Erection Day]" - Narrates the school talent show.
• "[Days Before the Day After Tomorrow|Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow]" - Seen with damaged breasts.
• "[[28]]" - Welcomes Butters disguised as a girl named Marjorine.
• "[That Egg!|Follow That Egg!]" - Tries to stop the wedding between Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave, but is unsuccessful.
• "[Kids|Ginger Kids]"
• "[Mary|Bloody Mary]" - Invites [Marsh|Randy Marsh] to talk about his drunk driving.
• "[Return of Chef|The Return of Chef]" - Seen at Chef's funeral.
• "[Alert!|Smug Alert!]" - Buys a Hybird car with along with everyone else in [Park (Location)|South Park (Location)].
• "[Wars Part I|Cartoon Wars Part I]" - Does Muslim-Sensitivity Training with her class.
• "[[29]]" (cameo) - Seen at the assembly about manbearpig.
• "[of the Urinal Deuce|Mystery of the Urinal Deuce]"
• "[God Go|Go God Go]"
• "[God Go XII|Go God Go XII]"
• "[Sucks|Cartman Sucks]" - Asks Cartman about the photo involving him and Butters.
• "[Capades|Lice Capades]" - Tells the class that everybody had lice in their hair.
• "[Snuke|The Snuke]" - Tells Cartman that not all Muslim people are terrorists.
• "[[30]]" - Becomes a lesbian in this episode and works together with other lebisans in order to prevent the lesbian bar from shutting down.
• "[Petit Tourette|Le Petit Tourette]" - Unable to teach her class due to Eric Cartman's frequent cursing.
• "[List|The List]" (cameo)
• "[Trouble|Tonsil Trouble]" (cameo)
• "[New Look|Britney's New Look]" - Seen taking photos of [Spears|Britney Spears], along with many other people.
• "[Boobage|Major Boobage]" - Seen in class at the beginning of the episode.
• "[A Penis!|Eek, A Penis!]" - Returns to male as of this episode.
• "[Logging|Over Logging]"
• "[Fun Time|Super Fun Time]" - He and his class are hold hostage.
• "[Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]" - Asks Cartman to stop being offensive to Wendy's speech about breast cancer and gives Cartman a detention for crapping on his desk.
• "[[31]]"
• "[2: The Startling|Pandemic 2: The Startling]"
• "[Last Night...|About Last Night...]" - Seen as a supporter of [McCain|John McCain].
• "[School Musical|Elementary School Musical]"
• "[Ring|The Ring]" (cameo) - Seen at Kenny's funeral.
• "[Coon|The Coon]" - Seen in the crowd and realizes that someone from his class is [[32]].
• "[[33]]" - The townspeople throw squirrels at him.
• "[Pray, Queef|Eat, Pray, Queef]" - Seen singing along with other men in [Park (Location)|South Park (Location)].
• "[[34]]"
• "[Derby|Pinewood Derby]"
• "[[35]]"
• "[Bottom Bitch|Butters' Bottom Bitch]"
• "[F Word|The F Word]"
• "[with Smurfs|Dances with Smurfs]" (cameo) - Seen in class.
• "[Healing|Sexual Healing]"
• "[Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs|The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs]"
• "[Have 0 Friends|You Have 0 Friends]"
• "[[36]]"
• "[[37]]"
• "[a Jersey Thing|It's a Jersey Thing]"
• "[[38]]"
• "[[39]]"
• "[Pudding|Royal Pudding]" - Seen teaching his class until Mr. Mackey comes in.
• "[Burgers|Ass Burgers]" - Seen teaching his class.
• "[to Mouth|Bass to Mouth]"
• "[[40]]" (cameo) - Seen during the school assessmbly.
• "[History Channel Thanksgiving|A History Channel Thanksgiving]" - Gives his class a history report on Thanksgiving.
• "[Cowgirl|Reverse Cowgirl]"
• "[[41]]"
• "[Finds Love|Cartman Finds Love]"
• "[Nightmare on Face Time|A Nightmare on Face Time]"
• "[Scause For Applause|A Scause For Applause]"
• "[Murder Porn|Informative Murder Porn]"
• "[War Zimmerman|World War Zimmerman]"
• "[Strange|Taming Strange]"
• "[Hobbit|The Hobbit]"
• "[Free Ebola|Gluten Free Ebola]" - Bothered by Mr. Mackey talking about being gluten free.
• "[Cissy|The Cissy]" - Explains transgenderism to [Victoria|Principal Victoria] and [Mackey|Mr. Mackey].
• "[Magic Bush|The Magic Bush]"
• "[Magic|Cock Magic]"
• "[[42]]" - Confused about [[43]].
• "[and Brave|Stunning and Brave]" - Mentions the time he was a lesbian.
• "[My Country Gone?|Where My Country Gone?]" - Mr. Garrison is fired from his job as a teacher for his racist remark at the Canadian students and runs for president of the United States.
• "[Content|Sponsored Content]" - Seen at his presidential campaign, greeted by Principal Victoria and travels back to South Park to stop the town fate ending.
• "[and Advertising|Truth and Advertising]" - Arrives back in South Park and see the changes to the town, he also kidnaps [Marsh|Randy Marsh] with [Victoria|Principal Victoria] and [Jenner|Caitlyn Jenner].
• "[Principal Final Justice|PC Principal Final Justice]"
• "[Berries|Member Berries]"
• "[Damned|The Damned]" - Tries unsuccessfully to get people to vote for [Clinton|Hillary Clinton].
• "[and a Danish|Douche and a Danish]" - Tries to run away from his campaign, and participates in the Memberberries addiction group.
• "[Collins|Fort Collins]" - Seen delivering a speech imploring voters to vote for [Clinton|Hillary Clinton] after he and [Marsh|Randy Marsh] attempt to destroy the [[44]].
• "[Jeez|Oh, Jeez]" - "Infected" with Memberberries, he accepts his Presidential victory and spreads the infection to Randy via [Jenner|Caitlyn Jenner].
• "[Only|Members Only]"
• "[Funny|Not Funny]" - Seen being "tricked" into bombing [[45]] by [Slave|Mr. Slave] and then not to by [Broflovski|Kyle Broflovski].
• "[End of Serialization as We Know It|The End of Serialization as We Know It]" - Seen at learning about online trolling and promising federal assistance to Kyle and his efforts against [[46]].
• "[It Down|Put It Down]" - Torments [Tweak|Tweek] by sending tweets about him to antagonize North Korea.
• "[A Witches|Sons A Witches]" - Butters and Stan call him to help get rid of the witch which is kidnapping children.
• "[Down|Doubling Down]"
• "[Tomato|Splatty Tomato]"